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In many countries people now wear western style cloths sich as jeans rather than traditional clothes. Why is this . It is positive or negative development.

In many countries people now wear western style cloths sich as jeans rather than traditional clothes. Why is this. It is positive or negative development. 3L7Wl
In this Modern world, people prefer to follow western culture path like they start wear western cloths instead of their own traditional clothes. It is mainly due to globalisation and I admit that it is a negative development in term of extinction of their own culture. There are multifarious reason of wearing western cloths by people. One obvious reason is globalisation. Due to this people start observing new trends related to cloths or other products. They follow western culture by adopting modern lifestyle. They start observing new and different fashion. Beside this, this is mainly due to advertisement. Adverts affect to people to follow new product such as cloths or any other gadgets. Thus globalisation is main reason of adopting the new culture. I admit that following western culture instead of their own culture has negative development in terms of extinction of theri culture. If people start follow anther culture with speedy then definitely affect their own culture because they start give preference to western culture so they wearing western cloths instead to their traditional clothes. It helps in extinction of their culture. Another neagtive aspect of afforementioned is unaware future generation. If people loss their traditional culture by following new culture then upcomming generation were unable to learn their past culture because of no evidence or symbol of culture. In this way they will unable to learn about theri ancient time and culture. In conclusion, globalisation and advertisment are main reason of wearing new cloths by people and I admit that it has negative progress in term of extinction of their own traditional clothes.
In this Modern world,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
western
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
path like they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
start
wear western
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cloths
instead
of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
. It is
mainly
due to
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globalisation
and I admit that it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development in term of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extinction
of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
. There are multifarious
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reason
of wearing western
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cloths
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. One obvious
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reason
is
Possible spelling mistake. 'globalisation' is British English.
globalisation
. Due to this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
start
observing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
trends related to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cloths
or other products. They
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
western
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
by adopting modern lifestyle. They
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
start
observing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
fashion. Beside this, this is
mainly
due to advertisement. Adverts affect to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
product such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cloths
or any other gadgets.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
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globalisation
is main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
of adopting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
. I admit that following western
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
instead
of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
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culture
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development in terms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extinction
of
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theri
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
start
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follow
anther
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
with speedy then definitely affect their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
start
give preference to western
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
Did you mean "they're wearing", "they are wearing", or "they were wearing"?
they wearing
western
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cloths
instead
to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in
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extinction
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
. Another
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neagtive
aspect of
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afforementioned
is unaware future generation. If
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people
loss their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
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culture
by following
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new
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culture
then
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upcomming
generation were unable to learn their past
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culture
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of no evidence or symbol of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
. In this way they
Did you mean "will be unable"?
will unable
to learn about
Possible spelling mistake found.
theri
ancient time and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
.
In conclusion
,
Possible spelling mistake. 'globalisation' is British English.
globalisation
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
advertisment
are main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
of wearing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cloths
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and I admit that it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
progress in term of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extinction
of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
.
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IELTS essay In many countries people now wear western style cloths sich as jeans rather than traditional clothes. Why is this. It is positive or negative development.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
265 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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