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In many countries, people now wear western clothes (suits, jeans) rather than the traditional clothing. Why? (Reasons and relevant examples) Is this a positive or negative development?

In many countries, people now wear western clothes (suits, jeans) rather than the traditional clothing. Why? (Reasons and relevant examples) Is this a positive or negative development? EJGQ
More often people from different countries choose western clothes instead of traditional clothes. There is no consensus in society is it positive or negative development. Some of them say that the individual comfort is the most important thing, but on the contrary community loses national identity. Honestly, I like suits and another American classic fashion culture but In my opinion it is a bad trend. So I will try to prove you that with examples of Ukraine Culture Centre report and professor Jan Danilov's research. The first reason why wear western clothes is a negative development is because citizens in different countries and regions losing their traditional clothing identity. For example, in Ukraine Culture Centre report said that the only 4 percent of Ukrainians wear national clothes. For instance 5 years ago it was 9 percent. So this is why wearing suits, jeans rather than the traditional clothing is a negative development. The second example why it is a bad trend proved by professor Jan Danilov. In his research he studied how common western clothes affects people's psychology. As the result of his study Danilov found the connection between wearing the same clothes, like suits and jeans, and depression. So this is another reason why this tendency have a negative impact for people. In conclusion I think it is a negative development when people wear western clothes rather than the traditional clothing. In my opinion it is a bad trend and society should choose national clothes instead jeans and suits.
More
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often
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people
from
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different
countries choose western
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clothes
instead
of
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traditional
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clothes
. There is no consensus in society is it
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positive
or
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negative
development.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
of them say that the individual comfort is the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
thing,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
on the contrary
community loses national identity.
Honestly
, I like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
suits
and another American classic fashion culture
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
In my opinion it is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
trend.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
I will try to prove you that with examples of Ukraine Culture
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Centre
report and professor Jan
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Danilov
's research.

The
first
reason why wear western
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clothes
is a
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negative
development is
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because
citizens in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries and regions losing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
clothing identity.
For example
, in Ukraine Culture
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Centre
report said that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
4 percent of Ukrainians wear national
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clothes
.
For instance
5 years ago it was 9 percent.
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So
this is why wearing
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suits
, jeans
rather
than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
clothing is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
development.

The second example why it is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
trend proved by professor Jan
Possible spelling mistake found.
Danilov
. In his research he studied how common western
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
affects
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's psychology. As the result of his study
Possible spelling mistake found.
Danilov
found the
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connection between
wearing the same
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clothes
, like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
suits
and jeans, and depression.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
this is another reason why
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this tendency have
a
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negative
impact for
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people
.

In
The comma is probably missing here: "conclusion, I".
conclusion I
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think
it is a
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negative
development when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
wear western
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
rather
than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
clothing. In my opinion it is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
trend and society should choose national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
instead
jeans and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
suits
.
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IELTS essay In many countries, people now wear western clothes (suits, jeans) rather than the traditional clothing. Why? (Reasons and relevant examples) Is this a positive or negative development?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
250 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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