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In many countries, individual or their employer pay for medical treatment should the government be more responsible for the health of their citizens ? Discuss and give your opinion.s

In many countries, individual or their employer pay for medical treatment should the government be more responsible for the health of their citizens? Discuss and give your opinion. s 0MNG9
There is no denying the fact that, in the present scenario medical treatment has become too expensive due to which people are unable to get proper medical aid; And in most countries individuals or their employees pay for medical treatment. I will discuss why should government help their citizens and why Not along with my opinion in upcoming paragraph. Commence with, why government should responsible for health treatment, as widely acknowledge there are many dangerous And deadly diseases and their treatment are very costly; for instance, cancer, aids, heart related diseases and many more which cost of hafty amount of money normal person who doing normal 9 to 5 job he cannot afford this enormous amount of money for treatment. so, with the help of government they can get a proper medical treatment and they can save their lives. However, this is also very difficult for higher authorities to help every single citizens of country for their medical treatment. so, both Government and individuals or their employees spend equal amount of money through this cost of treatment does not become a better not permitted or on any person. According to my opinion, government is not responsible for all types of medical treatment; but government should help those masses who are under poverty or who are suffering from a deadly disease and treatment cost is very high so government only give ad in each kind of cases not in cases. To conculde it, government should not responsible for the health of their citizens, higher authorities only help in those cases when person is not able to afford treatment cost.
There is no denying the fact that, in the present scenario
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatment
has become too expensive due to which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are unable to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
aid; And in most countries individuals or their employees pay for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatment
. I will discuss why should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
their citizens and why Not along with my opinion in upcoming paragraph. Commence with, why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should responsible for health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatment
, as
widely
acknowledge there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
And deadly diseases and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatment
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
costly;
for instance
, cancer, aids, heart related diseases and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
hafty
amount of money normal person who doing normal 9 to 5 job he cannot afford this enormous amount of money for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatment
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
so
, with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
treatment and
they can save their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
However
, this is
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult for higher authorities to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
every single citizens of country for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatment
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
so
, both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
and individuals or their employees spend equal amount of money through this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatment
does not become a better not permitted or on any person.

According to my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is not responsible for all types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatment
;
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
those masses who are under poverty or who are suffering from a deadly disease and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
high
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
give ad in each kind of cases not in cases. To
Possible spelling mistake found.
conculde
it,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should not responsible for the health of their citizens, higher authorities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
in those cases when person is not able to afford
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
.
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IELTS essay In many countries, individual or their employer pay for medical treatment should the government be more responsible for the health of their citizens? Discuss and give your opinion. s

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
268 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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