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criminals should not be given civil rights

criminals should not be given civil rights VEkdK
People commit crimes when they are unsatisfied with the situation they are in. Crimes are usually done knowingly. As the prompt talks about the crime one does 'knowingly'. This is a vague claim made as there is no device or technology that can measure how much a person knows. Sure there are devices like lie detector but one cannot simply depend as human cognition is obscure. Such devices only detect heart rate and body temperature to detect if one is lying. And if one is a criminal, he may as well have the skill to prevaricate the results of the device. Additionally, the prompt also contains a second part that implies that those who knowingly commit crime must deprive from civil rights and to earn with their labor. However, there any different types of crime and depriving every criminal of the civil right is partiality as a fellow human regardless of the degree of crime. Thus, in my belief the notion of the prompt is in itself flawed, and hence, i disagree. Human mind is one of the most powerful organ that can surpass any device ever developed by human till date. One has yet to divulge all the obscurities of the emminent powers of brain. Thus to differentiate whether an information is possessed by a person or not cannot be easily identified. Let us assume an example of a corrupt finance department head who embezzles money allocated for the new project. To detect if he does the embezzelment with the prescience of crime is nebulous, since he may be negligent enough to believe that as he is a part of the team he has the right to use the money. In these cases, even a lie detector will be a failure. Similarly, if a rapist has a patriarchial mindset then his crimes are always right in his eyes. Thus, diferentiate if the criminal does a crime with his conscience cannot be identified. Moreover, a criminal most of the time knows what he is doing and may even have storng beliefs that what he does is right regardless of any law and regulations. Additionally, to berieve a person from civil rights and benefit from his or her own labor is not pragmatic. When a person commits a crime it may be driven by multiple situations and his mental stability. He may even have been coaxed to commit such crimes. Punishing a criminal is a must to ensure not only the repetition by the same person but also to avoid generation of such criminals. However, to devoid the person with civil rights is too extreme. Moreover, just labelling a person as a criminal does not make him a target for inhumane acts. The degree of his crimes will determine his punishment and as per his punifhment he must also be given a chance to repent his sins. Thus, in conclusion to the points mentioned above the notion of the prompt is absurd and simply seems to be driven by emotions. Punishing a criminal is not a black and white matter. One must meticulously research and study the degree of his crimes and consequen
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
commit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
when they
are unsatisfied
with the situation they are in.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Crimes
are
usually
done
knowingly
.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prompt
talks about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
does
'
knowingly
'. This is a vague claim made as there is no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
device
or technology that can measure how much a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
knows. Sure there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
like lie detector
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
one cannot
simply
The verb 'to depend' requires the preposition '(up)on': "depend on".
depend
as human cognition is obscure. Such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
detect heart rate and body temperature to detect if one is lying. And if one is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
, he may
as well
have the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
to prevaricate the results of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
device
.
Additionally
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prompt
also
contains a second part that implies that those who
knowingly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
commit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
The usual collocation for "deprive" is "of" not "". Did you mean "deprive of"?
deprive from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
civil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rights
and to earn with their labor.
However
, there any
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
and depriving every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
civil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
is partiality as a fellow human regardless of the degree of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
.
Thus
, in my belief the notion of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prompt
is in itself flawed, and
hence
,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
disagree.

Human mind is one of the most powerful organ that can surpass any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
device
ever developed by human till date. One has
yet
to divulge all the obscurities of the
Possible spelling mistake found.
emminent
powers of brain.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
to differentiate whether an information
is possessed
by a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
or not cannot be
easily
identified.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
us assume an example of a corrupt finance department head who embezzles money allocated for the new project. To detect if he
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
does
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
embezzelment
with the prescience of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
is nebulous, since he may be negligent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to believe that as he is a part of the team he has the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the money. In these cases, even a lie detector will be a failure.

Similarly
, if a rapist has a
Possible spelling mistake found.
patriarchial
mindset then his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
are always
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
in his eyes.
Thus
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
diferentiate
if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
does
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
with his conscience cannot
be identified
.
Moreover
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
most of the time knows what he is doing and may even have
Possible spelling mistake found.
storng
beliefs that what he
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
does
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
regardless of any law and regulations.

Additionally
, to
Possible spelling mistake found.
berieve
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
civil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rights
and benefit from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
labor is not pragmatic. When a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
commits
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
it may
be driven
by multiple situations and his mental stability. He may even have
been coaxed
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
commit
such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
. Punishing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
is a
After 'must', the verb is used without 'to'. Probably, you should use "must" or "have to" here.
must to
ensure not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the repetition by the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
to avoid generation of such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
.
However
, to devoid the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
civil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rights
is too extreme.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
labelling a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
does
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
him a target for inhumane acts. The degree of his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
will determine his punishment and as per his
Possible spelling mistake found.
punifhment
he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
also
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
a chance to repent his sins.

Thus
,
in conclusion
to the points mentioned above the notion of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prompt
is absurd and
simply
seems to
be driven
by emotions. Punishing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
is not a black and white matter. One
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
meticulously
research and study the degree of his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
and
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
consequen
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If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay criminals should not be given civil rights

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
521 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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