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IN MANY COUNTRIES HAVE SEVERE PROBLEMS WITH STUDENT BEHAVIOUR WHAT DO YOU THINK ARE THE CAUSES OF THIS WHAT SOLUTIONS CAN YOU SUGGEST

IN MANY COUNTRIES HAVE SEVERE PROBLEMS WITH STUDENT BEHAVIOUR WHAT DO YOU THINK ARE THE CAUSES OF THIS WHAT SOLUTIONS CAN YOU SUGGEST 9Qm0w
As student are the future generation of the country. students have become more mature and overconfidence. The problem comes with students when their misuse importance given to them. Students show their dislike by improper behaviour they don’t know how to communicate their dislikes. Present generation students are more confident and less experience trying to learn more in less time, which leads to mistakes. Students become bored of listening to elders. Schools keep lot of restrictions for student due to, which students can’t think out of box. Kids are not prohibited to use mobile phones and play video games and are not encourage to play outdoor games. This is one of the reasons for the physiological disturbance students in mind. Students are becoming independent financially at a younger age, this might also be one of the reason for disobeying elders. Teachers and parents should come together to understand students and try to find the solution. Teachers should try to be patient and understand the student problems. Students should be allowed to make mistakes and make them learn from their mistakes. Kids should be prohibited from mobile phones and video games and help them learn a right way of communicating there dislikes. Kids should be permitted to play outdoor games. Elders should respect kids choice and should not hesitated to show love on them and make them understand the responsibilities at the same time there should not be stressed and make them fit in a family.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
are the future generation of the country.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
students
have become more mature and overconfidence. The problem
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
when their misuse importance
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to them.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their dislike by improper
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
they don’t know how to communicate their dislikes. Present generation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are more confident and less experience trying to learn more in less time, which leads to mistakes.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
become
In standard English it's more accepted to use "bored with" or "bored by".
bored of
listening to elders. Schools
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
restrictions for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
due to, which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
out of box.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Kids
are not prohibited to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
mobile phones and play video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
and are not
Consider using a past participle here: "encouraged".
encourage
Did you mean "playing"? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'encourage' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
to play
outdoor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
. This is one of the reasons for the physiological disturbance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in mind.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
are becoming independent
financially
at a younger age, this might
also
be one of the reason for disobeying elders. Teachers and parents should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
together to understand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and try to find the solution. Teachers should try to be patient and understand the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
problems.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
mistakes and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
them learn from their mistakes.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Kids
should
be prohibited
from mobile phones and video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them learn a right way of communicating
Did you mean "their"?
there
dislikes.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Kids
should
be permitted
to play outdoor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
. Elders should respect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
choice and should not
The verb 'should' requires the base form of the verb: "hesitate"
hesitated
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
on them and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
them understand the responsibilities at the same time there should not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
them fit in a family.
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IELTS essay IN MANY COUNTRIES HAVE SEVERE PROBLEMS WITH STUDENT BEHAVIOUR WHAT DO YOU THINK ARE THE CAUSES OF THIS WHAT SOLUTIONS CAN YOU SUGGEST

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
244 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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