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Describe an animal that you like

Describe an animal that you like jdryM
One of mu favourite animals that I would like to talk about it is elephant, they are the second largest mammals after the blue whales. In Fact, elephants are vegetation and eating trees barks and roots and their weights are different between 3000 to 6000, depending which area that they are living and also their consuming. However the research shows that the elephants are very emotion as a human and even cry when they lose baby calves or hurt. At the end I found them very strong and intelligent and there has been evidence that show the elephants have eye contact with humans. There are many factors and benefits they have us, also during the centuries, people were using the elephant as transportation and hobby.
One of mu
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
animals that I would like to talk about it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elephant
, they are the second largest mammals after the blue whales. In Fact,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elephants
are vegetation and eating trees barks and roots and their weights are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
Use "between" + "and" not "to." Try this: "between 3000 and 6000".
between 3000 to 6000
,
The verb 'to depend' requires the preposition '(up)on': "depending on".
depending
which area that they are living and
also
their consuming.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
the research
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elephants
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
emotion as a human and even cry when they lose baby calves or hurt. At the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
I found them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
strong and intelligent and there has been evidence that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elephants
have eye contact with humans. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
factors and benefits they have us,
also
during the centuries,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
were using the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elephant
as transportation and hobby.

IELTS essay Describe an animal that you like

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
125 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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