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Compulsory Military Service

Compulsory Military Service Gw8Gx
Imagine you are 18, and you must serve as a soldier for your country for almost two years. How do you feel? Are you sad or excited? You are going to read some about compulsory military service and its pros and cons in this paper. In our country only boys have to serve in boot camps, and it is not just for us. Some countries like South Korea have this issue. As a matter of fact, some countries make both genders spend their time in the boot camps, like North Korea and Israel. In addition, it can last seven years for girls and ten years for boys in North Korea. So, should we say hallelujah for that? In contrast, in some countries like Norway and Argentina, people don’t have to spend their time to learn how to fight in a war, and they serve voluntarily. Can you believe that? Let’s see what makes serving as a soldier annoying and disgusting. First of all, some people think that going to boot camps just wastes time, and they can do a lot of useful things during the two years. They believe this issue pushes back on their lives. Another problem is that most of high-ranking people humiliate young soldiers, and make them depressed. Some soldiers commit suicide during the serving because of loneliness, feeling ashamed and having no hope. I remember some soldiers had been kidnapped and killed near the border of Iran and Pakistan by terrorists couple years ago. Most of these sad stories remain at the boot camps, and people never hear about them. Some people postpone this issue by going to university, and they study and study until they get Ph. D. In our country, if you don’t serve in the boot camp, you cannot find a job, get passport and go abroad and… On the other hand, some people believe that compulsory military service makes young people complete. They think that everyone needs to know how to fight in a war. They tell that if military service becomes voluntary, no one serves anymore, and country becomes defenseless. They believe that young people don’t have any experience in life, and they are somehow spoiled and coward, and the service may make them ready for life that is brutal and rough. Some punishments like sending soldiers to cells because of their mistakes that they make during the service like an error in marching or playing drums, can prepared them for life. Plus, they can make a lot of friends in the boot camps, and it can make this issue easier. In my opinion, I don’t think serving have any positive points, and I can write two more pages about its disadvantages, but I’d rather not. I think that if government prepare some conditions like increasing salary of serving, and make it voluntary, country won’t be defenseless, and we will have professional soldiers. Now it’s time to answer the question that you read at first.
Imagine you are 18, and you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
serve
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
soldier
for your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
for almost two years. How do you feel? Are you sad or excited? You are going to read
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
about compulsory military
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
and its pros and cons in this paper.

In our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
boys
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
serve
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boot
camps, and it is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
for us.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
like South Korea have this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
. As a matter of fact,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
both genders spend their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boot
camps, like North Korea and Israel.
In addition
, it can last seven years for girls and ten years for boys in North Korea.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, should we say hallelujah for that?
In contrast
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
like Norway and Argentina,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
don’t
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
spend their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to learn how to fight in a war, and they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
serve
voluntarily
. Can you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that?
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
serving
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
soldier
annoying and disgusting.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boot
camps
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
wastes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, and they can do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
useful things during the two years. They
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
pushes back on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. Another problem is that most of high-ranking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
humiliate young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
soldiers
, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
them depressed.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
soldiers
commit suicide during the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
serving
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of loneliness, feeling ashamed and having no hope. I remember
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
soldiers
had
been kidnapped
and killed near the border of Iran and Pakistan by terrorists couple years ago. Most of these sad stories remain at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boot
camps, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
never hear about them.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
postpone this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
by going to university, and they study and study until they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
The more common abbreviation of the term 'philosophiae doctor' is "Ph.D.".
Ph. D.
In our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, if you don’t
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
serve
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boot
camp, you cannot find a job,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
passport and go abroad and…

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that compulsory military
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
complete. They
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that everyone needs to know how to fight in a war. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
that if military
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
becomes voluntary, no one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
serves
anymore, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
becomes defenseless.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
They
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
don’t have any experience in life, and they are somehow spoiled and coward, and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
may
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
them ready for life
that is
brutal and rough.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
punishments like sending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
soldiers
to cells
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their mistakes that they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
during the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
like an error in marching or playing drums, can prepared them for life. Plus, they can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
friends in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boot
camps, and it can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
easier.

In my opinion, I don’t
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
serving
have any
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
points, and I can write two more pages about its disadvantages,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I’d
rather
not. I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
prepare
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
conditions like increasing salary of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
serving
, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
it voluntary,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
won’t be defenseless, and we will have professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
soldiers
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
it’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to answer the question that you read at
first
.
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IELTS essay Compulsory Military Service

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
494 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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