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In many countries, governments have spent a large amount of money on improving internet access. Why is it happening and do you think it is the most appropiate use of government money? v.1

In many countries, governments have spent a large amount of money on improving internet access. Why is it happening and do you think it is the most appropiate use of government money? v. 1
Improvement of internet access has been an important fact for governments investments in different nations. However, I believe there are more relevant issues that should be embrace by the government' s economy such health care. On one hand, a possible reason why governments funds have been spent on improving internet access is because it is an important tool for enterprises to be able to have constant communication with overseas, either as part of their sales, associates or to contact other industries as a need of supplies. Furthermore, there is a possibility that the governments are investing on their nation' s education as well, which would explain the significance of having an acceptable network' s connectivity to enable people to access to the free online information sharing. On the other hand, personally, I do not think internet connection should be the greatest investment governments need to do, I rather believe health care is the most important aspect in a nation, reason why governments money should be spent on this fact. Therefore, covering basic sanitation would be the first issue to be addressed, because there is an alarming number of countries that lack from sanitation infrastructure which help the promotion of health by preventing humans to develop any diseases as a consequence of being in contact with their own wastes such as sewage or garbage. To conclude, although internet access offers a wide range of benefits and opportunities to people, there are more urgent issues to be solved around the world. Hence governments should consider about the use they are planning to give their money, because there are human basic needs to be covered first.
Improvement of internet
access
has been an
important
fact for
governments
investments in
different
nations.
However
, I believe there are more relevant issues that should be
embrace
by the
government&
#039; s economy such health care.

On one hand, a possible reason why
governments
funds have
been spent
on improving internet
access
is
because
it is an
important
tool for enterprises to be able to have constant communication with overseas, either as part of their sales, associates or to contact other industries as a need of supplies.
Furthermore
, there is a possibility that the
governments
are investing on their
nation&
#039; s education
as well
, which would
explain
the significance of having an acceptable
network&
#039; s connectivity to enable
people
to
access
to the free online information sharing.

On the other hand
,
personally
, I do not
think
internet connection should be the greatest investment
governments
need to do, I
rather
believe health care is the most
important
aspect in a nation, reason why
governments
money should
be spent
on this fact.
Therefore
, covering basic sanitation would be the
first
issue to
be addressed
,
because
there is an alarming number of countries that lack from sanitation infrastructure which
help
the promotion of health by preventing humans to develop any diseases as a consequence of being in contact with their
own
wastes such as sewage or garbage.

To conclude
, although internet
access
offers a wide range of benefits and opportunities to
people
, there are more urgent issues to
be solved
around the world.
Hence
governments
should
consider about the
use
they are planning to give their money,
because
there are human basic needs to
be covered
first
.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
11Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay In many countries, governments have spent a large amount of money on improving internet access. Why is it happening and do you think it is the most appropiate use of government money? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
273 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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