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In many countries children are engaged in different kinds of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it a valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibility. What is your opinion?

In many countries children are engaged in different kinds of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it a valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibility. What is your opinion? 0LMB

The issue of whether or not children should be engaged in some paid work has sparked a heated debate. While some argue that having some employment experience is conclusive to a child's learning and development. I contend that it would bring harm to the child's health and learning. First of all, In some democratic countries, It is illegal who work under the age of 18. However, employers have a fine with punishment like license cancel for this crime. It is scientifically proven at small age child minds required attention, care love, to understand their meaning. Till 18 young people learn skills theoretically o practically under the guidance. In Contrast, young minds are not capable to define themselves from stress, fraud, or any cheating. According to the reports of times of India, Children who work underage, are exploited by employers and paid less money as compare to others. Moreover, they might be misused for any illegal work. Furthermore, it is believed that child does not have ambition and vision to understand the meaning of their lives. In such cases, the guardian helps them to learn some set of skills so that they can learn and survive in the real world and understand wrong and right. In conclusion, I opine that government should implement the restriction on child labor. In order to save them from illegal work, and fraudulent, exploitation. as they don't understand the difference in very small age.

The issue of Consider shortening this phrase to just "whether". It is correct though if you mean 'regardless of whether'.whether
whether or not
 children should be engaged
 in This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:a number of
some
 paid You use this word too often, consider replacing it withtaskindustrytrialjobproductionstruggle
work
 has sparked a heated debate. While This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:a number of
some
 argue that having This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:a number of
some
 employment experience is conclusive to a child's learning and development. I contend that it would bring harm to the child's health and learning.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".First
First of all
, In This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:a number of
some
 democratic countries, It is illegal who You use this word too often, consider replacing it withtaskindustrytrialjobproductionstruggle
work
 under the age of 18. However
, employers have a fine with punishment like license cancel for this crime. It is scientifically
 proven at This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:tiny
small
 age child minds required attention, care This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :admireadore
love
, to You use this word too often, consider replacing it withfind outgetreadrecognizeexplainsense
understand
 their meaning. Till 18 young This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :individualsnationsociety
people
 learn This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :proficiencies
skills
theoretically
 o practically
 under the guidance. In Contrast
, young minds are not capable to define themselves from This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :accentuate
stress
, fraud, or any cheating. According to the reports of times of India, Children who You use this word too often, consider replacing it withtaskindustrytrialjobproductionstruggle
work
 underage, are exploited
 by employers and paid less money as compare to others. Moreover
, they might be misused
 for any illegal work.

Furthermore
, it is believed
 that child does not have ambition and vision to You use this word too often, consider replacing it withfind outgetreadrecognizeexplainsense
understand
 the meaning of their This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :resides
lives
. In such cases, the guardian This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :assists
helps
 them to learn This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:a number of
some
 set of This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :proficiencies
skills
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:consequently
so
 that they can learn and survive in the real world and You use this word too often, consider replacing it withfind outgetreadrecognizeexplainsense
understand
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:incorrect
wrong
 and right. In conclusion
, I opine that This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :national authoritypublic authority
government
 should implement the restriction on child labor. Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
 order to save them from illegal You use this word too often, consider replacing it withtaskindustrytrialjobproductionstruggle
work
, and fraudulent, exploitation. This sentence does not start with an uppercase letterAs
as
 they don't You use this word too often, consider replacing it withfind outgetreadrecognizeexplainsense
understand
 the difference in This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:extremelyimmenselysupremelysuperb
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:tiny
small
 age. 