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Science and technology have improved the standards of living in all over the world. Some people claim that the role of the arts has become insignificant. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? v.2

Science and technology have improved the standards of living in all over the world. Some people claim that the role of the arts has become insignificant. with this opinion? v. 2
There is no doubt that the quality of our lives in the 21st century has been greatly improved by various scientific and technological advances. Despite this, the arts and humanities to still have much to teach us about ourselves and heart in general. One area in which we can learn from the arts is that concepts such as beauty matter in and of themselves, whereas in the world of science and technology the only true measure is whether something works or not. This is a limited view of the world and the arts differ in that they offer us an alternative and more spiritual outlook. For example, if we listen to Mozart we can learn about harmony and joy through the medium of music or if even we read an author like PG Wodehouse we learn about the value of humour. These essential aspects of growth are absent from the clinical world of science and technology. The other way in which artists can teach us more about the heart is that enjoying art encourages the habit of self – reflection. If you walk into an art gallery, attend a concert or even just stay in to read a book, you will almost certainly begin to think about your inner values. For me, this is an invaluable lesson in soul because if we begin to reflect about ourselves, we are beginning not just to become more human, but also consider the lives of others too. In conclusion, while science and technology may have made our physical lives more comfortable in the 21st century. It remains true that the arts and humanities are still absolutely necessary for ordinary people as they promote a more spiritual and reflective view of activity that is essential to our humanity.
There is no doubt that the quality of our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in the 21st century has been
greatly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
by various scientific and technological advances. Despite this, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
and humanities to
still
have much to teach us about ourselves and heart
in general
.

One area in which we can learn from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
is that concepts such as beauty matter in and of themselves, whereas in the world of science and technology the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
true measure is whether something works or not. This is a limited view of the world and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
differ in that they offer us an alternative and more spiritual outlook.
For example
, if we listen to Mozart we can learn about harmony and joy through the medium of music or if even we read an author like PG Wodehouse we learn about the value of
Possible spelling mistake. 'humour' is British English.
humour
. These essential aspects of growth are absent from the clinical world of science and technology.

The other way in which artists can teach us more about the heart is that enjoying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
encourages the habit of self
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
reflection. If you walk into an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
gallery, attend a concert or even
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
stay in to read a book, you will almost
certainly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about your inner values. For me, this is an invaluable lesson in soul
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
if we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
to reflect about ourselves, we are beginning not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to become more human,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
consider the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of others too.

In conclusion
, while science and technology may have made our physical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
more comfortable in the 21st century. It remains true that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
and humanities are
still
absolutely
necessary for ordinary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
as they promote a more spiritual and reflective view of activity
that is
essential to our humanity.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Science and technology have improved the standards of living in all over the world. Some people claim that the role of the arts has become insignificant. with this opinion? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
294 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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