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In many countries around the world young people decide to leave their parents’ home once they finish school. They start living on their own or sharing a house with friends. Is this a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include relevant examples.

In many countries around the world young people decide to leave their parents’ home once they finish school. They start living on their own or sharing a house with friends. Is this a positive or a negative development? gQ21
Nowadays, that is increasingly for young people start their independent life by moving out of their parents’ home after they graduated from school. They will live on their own or live with roommate. This trend has brought positive affect for young people and parents. There are plenty advantages for both young people and their parents when they decide to leave their parents and live independently. One of the benefits for young people is train their independent. They can learn a lot of skills from their daily life, such as cooking and daily chores. They can understand how hard their parents to maintain a home in their daily life. Moreover, they also can get financial management. They need to plan their money to afford their living expenses like house rental, entertainment and others. Furthermore, they can improve their social through meet new friends or housemates. They can get good influence from them not only from their parents. Next, not only young people can get the benefits, their parents also have some advantages. Parents spend most of their life time on take care their children. Since their children move out from home after they finish school, they have a lot of me time. They can start to enjoy their life and their hobby. For example, it allows parents travel around the world, which their children were live independently. However, young people live independently also bring some negative influences. The relationship between young people and their parents might become estranged. This is because they didn’t meet each other every day. What’s more, young people may have social problem if they join the group of bad friends such as involve drugs and petty crime. In conclusion, although there are some disadvantages for young people live independently, but advantages outweigh the disadvantages. Young people can get a lot of valuable experience and these can let them become mature and responsible adults.
Nowadays,
that is
increasingly
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
their independent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
by moving out of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents’
home after they graduated from school. They will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
or
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live
with roommate. This trend has brought
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
Did you mean "effect"?
affect
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and parents.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
advantages for both
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young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and their
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parents
when they decide to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
independently
. One of the benefits for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
train their independent. They can learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
from their daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, such as cooking and daily chores. They can understand how
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to maintain a home in their daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Moreover
, they
also
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
financial management. They need to plan their money to afford their living expenses like
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
rental, entertainment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
.
Furthermore
, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their social through
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
new friends or housemates. They can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
influence from them not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
from their parents.

Next
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
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young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the benefits, their
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parents
also
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
spend most of their
Did you mean "lifetime"?
life time
on take care their children. Since their children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
out from home after they finish school, they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
me time. They can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to enjoy their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and their hobby.
For example
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
travel around the world, which their children were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
independently
.

However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
independently
also
bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
influences. The relationship between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
might become estranged. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they didn’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
each other every day. What’s more,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may have social problem if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
the group of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
friends such as involve drugs and petty crime.

In conclusion
, although there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
independently
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
valuable experience and these can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
them become mature and responsible adults.
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IELTS essay In many countries around the world young people decide to leave their parents’ home once they finish school. They start living on their own or sharing a house with friends. Is this a positive or a negative development?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
316 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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