Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

In many countries around the world, shopping has turned into a form of entertainment rather than a way of getting what people need. Discuss the reason behind this trend. Is it a positive or negative development? v.2

In many countries around the world, shopping has turned into a form of entertainment rather than a way of getting what people need. Discuss the reason behind this trend. Is it a positive or negative development? v. 2
In several nations across the globe, the very basic purpose of shopping has changed. While, earlier people viewed it as a means of satisfying human need, no, it is considered as a recreational activity. This essay will first, discuss the reasons of this trend, and further, will support the argument that impulsive buying is a negative development, followed by a reasoned conclusion. The most important cause for considering shopping as free-time activity is the increase in stress level of people. This is to say, individuals are leading a hectic life, working for longer hours in the office to complete their tasks and duties. As a consequence, they suffer from anxiety, tensions and extreme pressures. Thus, leads them to become compulsive shoppers, which helps them to alleviate from mental and emotional strain. To elucidate, a recent poll done by the Indian Government found that more than 80 percent of people go for shopping just to relieve them from the work related tensions and depression. This phenomenon has some serious ramifications. Careless shopping puts financial burden on people. In other words, people spend a huge portion of their income in purchasing unnecessary products, rather than investing them in other useful fields such as children's education, insurance sector and other financial instrument. To exemplify, a recent study by The Times on March 2019 found that more than 60 percent people's shopping cart is filled with unnecessary goods. To conclude, people consider shopping as a fun and leisure activity to reduce their work related pressures. However, this is considered as a negative trend as people tend to spend their hard earned salary in purchasing useless goods.
In several nations across the globe, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
basic purpose of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
. While, earlier
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
viewed it as a means of satisfying human need, no, it
is considered
as a recreational activity. This essay will
first
, discuss the reasons of this trend, and
further
, will support the argument that impulsive buying is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development, followed by a reasoned conclusion.

The most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
cause for considering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
as free-time activity is the increase in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. This is to say, individuals are leading a hectic life, working for longer hours in the office to complete their tasks and duties. As a consequence, they suffer from anxiety, tensions and extreme pressures.
Thus
, leads them to become compulsive shoppers, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to alleviate from mental and emotional strain. To elucidate, a recent poll done by the Indian
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
found that more than 80 percent of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
go for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to relieve them from the work related tensions and depression.

This phenomenon has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
serious ramifications. Careless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
puts financial burden on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
In other words
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spend a huge portion of their income in purchasing unnecessary products,
rather
than investing them in other useful fields such as children's education, insurance sector and other financial instrument. To exemplify, a recent study by The Times on March 2019 found that more than 60 percent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
cart
is filled
with unnecessary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
consider
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
as a fun and leisure activity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
their work related pressures.
However
, this
is considered
as a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
trend as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to spend their
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
hard earned
salary in purchasing useless
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay In many countries around the world, shopping has turned into a form of entertainment rather than a way of getting what people need. Discuss the reason behind this trend. Is it a positive or negative development? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
272 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts