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Crime appears to be rising in most countries in the world, especially among young people. Identify the possible causes of this trend and propose solutions you think would be effective v.4

Crime appears to be rising in most countries in the world, especially among young people. Identify the possible causes of this trend and propose solutions you think would be effective v. 4
In most countries, there is an increase in crime among people, particularly youth. This essay will identify reasonable causes from this issue and estimates some potential solutions for this issue. Regarding the causes, perhaps, the main cause of this is situation is lack of attention in family. People, especially youth, who are neglected by their families and do not get adequate love and attention that they desire might be encouraged to commit a crime, such as violence. Another cause is that lack formal education. Example can be seen in some people who do not acquire a formal education, particularly in reading skill, would probable do not know about norms of law and even break the law, such as traffic regulations. A third factor is difficulty in finding an occupation. This situation would trigger young people involved in illegal activities, such as stealing, to earn money to continue their life. Turning to possible solutions, an obvious step would be volunteering program to support young people, which can be seen in mentoring children who need positive support from adults. The mentor of this program ranges from adult around kids' home, such as neighbors, to senior and teacher at the school. If we took this step, it would reduce crime among young people. A second remedy might urge the implementation of anti-violence courses that help children learn ways to manage anger without using fists or weapons. The last way to prevent crime is that government should support fund, staff, and other resources that help schools in developing an effective set of crime prevention strategies. In summary, It is logical to conclude that not only are there some reasons why crime appears to be rising, but there has some solutions to prevent this situation as well. While lack of attention in family, lack of formal education, and difficulty in finding a job seem to be the main causes, there are volunteering program, implementation of anti-violence courses, and support from government to crime prevention strategies that can be solution for this situation.
In most countries, there is an increase in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
particularly
youth. This essay will identify reasonable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
from this issue and estimates
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
potential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solutions
for this issue.

Regarding the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
, perhaps, the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
of this is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lack
of attention in family.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
,
especially
youth, who
are neglected
by their families and do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
adequate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
and attention that they desire might
be encouraged
to commit a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
, such as violence. Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lack
formal education. Example can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who do not acquire a formal education,
particularly
in reading
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
, would
The word "probable" is an adjective and doesn't fit in this context. Did you mean the adverb "probably"?
probable
do not know about norms of law and even break the law, such as traffic regulations. A third factor is difficulty in finding an occupation. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
would trigger young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
involved in illegal activities, such as stealing, to earn money to continue their life.

Turning to possible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solutions
, an obvious step would be volunteering program to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, which can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in mentoring children who need
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
from adults. The mentor of this program ranges from adult around
Possible spelling mistake found.
kids&
#039; home, such as neighbors, to senior and teacher at the school. If we took this step, it would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
among young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. A second remedy might urge the implementation of anti-violence courses that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
children learn ways to manage anger without using fists or weapons. The last way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
is that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
fund, staff, and other resources that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
schools in developing an effective set of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
prevention strategies.

In summary, It is logical
to conclude
that not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
are there
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
appears to be rising,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solutions
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
as well
. While
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lack
of attention in family,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lack
of formal education, and difficulty in finding a job seem to be the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
, there are volunteering program, implementation of anti-violence courses, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
prevention strategies that can be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solution
for this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
34Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Crime appears to be rising in most countries in the world, especially among young people. Identify the possible causes of this trend and propose solutions you think would be effective v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
337 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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