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In many cities the use of video cameras in public places is being increased in order to reduce crime, but some people believe these measures restrict our individual freedom. Do the benefits of increased security outweigh the drawbacks? v.5

In many cities the use of video cameras in public places is being increased in order to reduce crime, but some people believe these measures restrict our individual freedom. Do the benefits of increased security outweigh the drawbacks? v. 5
In many metropolitan areas CCTV is on the increase with the express purpose of reducing crime, however, some would argue that these encroach upon our liberty. This essay will argue that the advantages do not outweigh the disadvantages because surveillance cameras do not deter serious criminals and the vast majority of people they record are innocent members of society who have a right to privacy. Most advocates of increased surveillance argue that cameras deter crime because criminals are less likely to commit crimes if they know they are being watched. This might be the case for petty crime, but it does not prevent more serious crimes. Drug dealers and murderers will simply use areas that are not monitored or do something to obscure their identity. The recent attacks on Paris by terrorists demonstrate that all areas are vulnerable no matter how many cameras are pointing at them. This argument is further weakened by the fact that the overwhelming majority of people filmed in public places are ordinary, law abiding citizens and this is an infringement of their rights. A person should not have their every move digitally recorded, when all they want to do is travel to their job or go shopping. A person is left with a choice of either surrendering their privacy or not going to public spaces, which is an erosion of the right to privacy. For example, it is estimated that a person living in any major city in the UK will be recorded up to 80% of the time they are in public. In conclusion, the drawbacks of video surveillance far outweigh the benefits because major criminals, including terrorists, are not put off by it and it results in citizens having to relinquish too much of their private lives to the state.
In
many
metropolitan areas CCTV is on the increase with the express purpose of reducing
crime
,
however
,
some
would argue that these encroach upon our liberty. This essay will argue that the advantages do not outweigh the disadvantages
because
surveillance cameras do not deter serious criminals and the vast majority of
people
they record are innocent members of society who have a right to privacy.

Most advocates of increased surveillance argue that cameras deter
crime
because
criminals are less likely to commit
crimes
if they know they are being
watched
. This might be the case for petty
crime
,
but
it does not
prevent
more serious
crimes
. Drug dealers and murderers will
simply
use
areas that are not monitored or do something to obscure their identity. The recent attacks on Paris by terrorists demonstrate that all areas are vulnerable no matter how
many
cameras are pointing at them.

This argument is
further
weakened by the fact that the overwhelming majority of
people
filmed in public places are ordinary,
law abiding
citizens and this is an infringement of their rights. A person should not have their every
move
digitally
recorded, when all they want to do is travel to their job or go shopping. A person is
left
with a choice of either surrendering their privacy or not going to public spaces, which is an erosion of the right to privacy.
For example
, it
is estimated
that a person living in any major city in the UK will
be recorded
up to 80% of the time they are in public.

In conclusion
, the drawbacks of video surveillance far outweigh the benefits
because
major criminals, including terrorists, are not put off by it and it results in citizens having to relinquish too much of their private
lives
to the state.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
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IELTS essay In many cities the use of video cameras in public places is being increased in order to reduce crime, but some people believe these measures restrict our individual freedom. Do the benefits of increased security outweigh the drawbacks? v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
297 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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