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In many cities the use of video cameras in public places is becoming popular. Do the benefits of increased security outweigh the drawbacks?

It is true that video surveillance has become commonplace in many cities in recent years. While I understand that critics may see this as an invasion of privacy, I believe that the benefits do outweigh the drawbacks. The main drawback of using video surveillance cameras is that they invade our privacy, in the sense that we are constantly being watched by the authorities or by private security firms. Many people find this intrusive and feel that the recording of their movements is a form of state control that curtails their individual freedom. Thus, they are likely to be against the use of such cameras in public places. However, private information recorded by this camera is not shared and people are likely to adapt to them. Thus / In spite of the drawbacks mentioned above, I believe that the use of video cameras to monitor public areas is mostly a positive measure. The key objective of video surveillance is to deter criminals and to prevent crime. For example, petty criminals like shoplifters and pickpockets are less likely parts of cities where they know that they are being watched. At the same time, when crimes are committed, the police can use video evidence to catch and prosecute offenders. Therefore, video cameras offer valuable support to police officers, and they make cities safer for inhabitants, workers and visitors alike. to operate in In conclusion, it seems to me that we gain more than we lose from the enhanced security that CCTV cameras bring to our cities. (drawbacks are outweighed by advantages)
It is true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
surveillance has become commonplace in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
in recent years. While I understand that critics may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
this as an invasion of privacy, I believe that the benefits do outweigh the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drawbacks
. The main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drawback
of using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
surveillance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cameras
is that they invade our privacy, in the sense that we are
constantly
being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
by the authorities or by private security firms.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
find this intrusive and feel that the recording of their movements is a form of state control that curtails their individual freedom.
Thus
, they are likely to be against the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cameras
in public places.
However
, private information recorded by this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
camera
is not shared and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are likely to adapt to them.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
/
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drawbacks
mentioned above, I believe that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cameras
to monitor public areas is
mostly
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
measure. The key objective of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
surveillance is to deter criminals and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
crime.
For example
, petty criminals like shoplifters and pickpockets are less likely parts of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
where they know that they are being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
. At the same time, when crimes
are committed
, the police can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
evidence to catch and prosecute offenders.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cameras
offer valuable support to police officers, and they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
safer for inhabitants, workers and visitors alike.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
to
operate in
In conclusion
, it seems to me that we gain more than we lose from the enhanced security that CCTV
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cameras
bring to our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
(drawbacks
are outweighed
by advantages)
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IELTS essay In many cities the use of video cameras in public places is becoming popular. Do the benefits of increased security outweigh the drawbacks?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
257 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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