Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Nowadays more people are choosing to live with friendly or alone rather than with their families. This trend is likely to have a negative impact on communities

It is becoming increasingly popular that people choose to co-habit with their friends or on their own instead of staying with their family members. Some believe that this lifestyle has a bad impact on the society and I completely agree with this statement. Firstly, despite staying with friends or alone helps oneself to become more independent and mature, it also draws negative impacts on the society. This is because they are easily influenced by friends and in the absence of elders, they fall into big traps. For example, study showed that people who chose to live away from their parents, are the ones that are more prone to dangers such as drugs and alcohol abuse as he has the freedom to come and leave his house at any time without having to worry about being questioned by parents. Secondly, when they choose to move out, it also means that they are breaking the bonding that they once shared amongst themselves. Sometimes, they move to different locations and hardly see one another, and this eventually makes them become distant, shattering the love between them. Along with this trend also comes the loss of traditions and cultures. To exemplify, during festive moments, when extended family are united, they revive their customs, hence creating strong bonds. In conclusion, I believe that despite living independently would facilitate an individual to become more mature, it does not outweigh the drawbacks that it brings along in our society. The impacts can last for a lifetime and families become scattered.
It is becoming
increasingly
popular that
people
choose to co-habit with their friends or on their
own
instead
of staying with their family members.
Some
believe that this lifestyle has a
bad
impact on the society and I completely
agree
with this statement.

Firstly
, despite staying with friends or alone
helps
oneself to
become
more independent and mature, it
also
draws
negative
impacts on the society. This is
because
they are
easily
influenced by friends and in the absence of elders, they fall into
big
traps.
For example
, study
showed
that
people
who chose to
live
away from their parents, are the ones that are more prone to
dangers
such as drugs and alcohol abuse as he has the freedom to
come
and
leave
his
house
at any time without having to worry about
being questioned
by parents.

Secondly
, when they choose to
move
out, it
also
means that they are breaking the bonding that they once shared amongst themselves.
Sometimes
, they
move
to
different
locations and hardly
see
one another, and this
eventually
makes
them
become
distant, shattering the
love
between them. Along with this trend
also
comes
the loss of traditions and cultures. To exemplify, during festive moments, when extended family
are united
, they revive their customs,
hence
creating strong bonds.

In conclusion
, I believe that despite living
independently
would facilitate an individual to
become
more mature, it does not outweigh the drawbacks that it brings along in our society. The impacts can last for a lifetime and families
become
scattered.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Nowadays more people are choosing to live with friendly or alone rather than with their families. This trend is likely to have a negative impact on communities

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
253 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts