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In many cities, many peopole are living in large apartment blocks. Does this accommodation have more advantages or disadvantages?

In many cities, many peopole are living in large apartment blocks. Does this accommodation have more advantages or disadvantages? p7a2
Residence is a place, where people love to relax after working for a long span. Numerous people prefer to reside in big apartments in urban area as compared to small one. I reckon that this attitude has its own advantages as well as disadvantages. It is good to consider a large accommodation for living as the spacious place resolve number of day to day problems whereas in lieu of this people have to pay a hefty amount for availing such facility. The most advantageous part of residing in large space is that there is no problem of placing household equipments or devices according to the family size. Every member of the family will get his or her personal space for living independently while residing with the whole family. For example children will have their own room in addition to this; adults have their own work space as well as living space without any intervention. Beside this large accommodation will provide open area along with the closet area for overall flourishment of the family. The concerned persons can have provisioning of the fresh air along with the sun rays which may be not possible with small residential areas. In order to take the advantage of spacious residential area, people have to pay a hefty amount for the same, which is not affordable by number of people. They have to take loans for purchasing or hiring large accommodations in posh blocks which indirectly put burden on their pockets. Due to this people become stressful, and always in the back end of their mind they think how to get rid of loan installments? It has been proven by the recent survey that the most of job class people are under stress due to home-loans they have took, specifically in the time of pandemic COVID-19. So the biggest disadvantage is to pay cost for such accommodations. In conclusion, people prefer to live in large accommodations in blocks rather than small one because of the space and healthy environment despite of that they have to pay large amount for the same.
Residence is a place, where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to relax after working for a long span. Numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to reside in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
apartments in urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
as compared to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
one. I reckon that this attitude has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
advantages
as well
as disadvantages. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
to consider a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accommodation
for living as the spacious place resolve number of day to day problems whereas in lieu of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
a hefty amount for availing such facility.

The most advantageous part of residing in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
is that there is no problem of placing household equipments or devices according to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
size. Every member of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
for living
independently
while residing with the whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
For example
children will have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
room
in addition
to this; adults have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
as well
as living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
without any intervention. Beside this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accommodation
will provide open
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
along with the closet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
for
overall
Possible spelling mistake found.
flourishment
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. The concerned persons can have provisioning of the fresh air along with the sun rays which may be not possible with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
residential areas.

In order to take the advantage of spacious residential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
a hefty amount for the same, which is not affordable by number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. They
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
take loans for purchasing or hiring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
accommodations in posh blocks which
indirectly
put burden on their pockets. Due to this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
become stressful, and always in the back
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of their mind they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
rid of loan installments? It has
been proven
by the recent survey that the
Consider using "most job" or "most of the job".
most of job
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are under
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
due to home-loans they have
Use past participle here: "taken".
took
,
specifically
in the time of pandemic COVID-19.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
the biggest disadvantage is to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
cost for such accommodations.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
accommodations in blocks
rather
than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
and healthy environment
Did you mean "despite" (or, alternatively, 'in spite of')?
despite of
that they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
amount for the same.
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IELTS essay In many cities, many peopole are living in large apartment blocks. Does this accommodation have more advantages or disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
346 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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