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In different countries, the figure for people who have big health issues is rising because of eating an immense amount of junk food. It is an essential reason for the state to impose a higher tax on such foods. Do you agree or disagree?

In different countries, the figure for people who have big health issues is rising because of eating an immense amount of junk food. It is an essential reason for the state to impose a higher tax on such foods. eeoOW
Nowadays, people have different views about whether governments have to oblige paying higher taxes on fast food or not. I think although it is compulsory for the state to take care of the people and manage this situation, it is still unimportant for each ruler to set supreme over taxes in terms of unhealthy food. On the one hand, if the authorities had imposed extremely large taxes for that kind of food, it would prevent the surge in the number of people who suffer from obesity and other illnesses by motivating them to cease eating. More importantly, people commence to worry about their financial situation as well as to ponder the possibility of not losing more money; as the state would help them not to gain health problems and save money by a heavy tax. For example, a person psychologically isn't oblivious about the obsession caused by junk food as from drugs and by pausing eating it makes it easy to notice how refreshed he feels himself and to realize the effect of rejection from junk food. Consequently, better results are likely to be achieved as long as the people will be taxed fast food by the state. On the other hand, for a potentially large number of people it is so time-consuming to cook healthy food, whenever it is not a secret that a healthy meal is much more expensive than fast food. This means that people consume a lot of junk food in order to economize money and time by virtue of their overloaded job and setting taxes could exacerbate the situation inducing a lot of problems for them. For instance, both having a job and studying at university will not let students improve their nutrition in view of the time pressure they are forced to eat such food even if they comprehend the level of harm. Therefore, it is obligatory for the government to consider the wills of that part of the population. In conclusion, I believe even though it is necessary for governments to support people not to eat junk food by high taxes, it could cause different problems for employees.
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
views about whether
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
oblige paying higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
or not. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
although it is compulsory for the state to take care of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and manage this situation, it is
still
unimportant for each ruler to set supreme over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
in terms of unhealthy food.

On the one hand, if the authorities had imposed
extremely
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
for that kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, it would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
the surge in the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who suffer from obesity and other illnesses by motivating them to cease eating. More
importantly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
commence to worry about their financial situation
as well
as to ponder the possibility of not losing more money; as the state would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them not to gain health problems and save money by a heavy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
.
For example
, a person
psychologically
isn't oblivious about the obsession caused by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
as from drugs and by pausing eating it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it easy to notice how refreshed he feels himself and to realize the effect of rejection from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
food.

Consequently
, better results are likely to
be achieved
as long as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
be taxed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
by the state.

On the other hand
, for a
potentially
large number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
time-consuming to cook healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, whenever it is not a secret that a healthy meal is much more expensive than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. This means that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
consume
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
in order to economize money and time by virtue of their overloaded job and setting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
could exacerbate the situation inducing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
problems for them.
For instance
, both having a job and studying at university will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their nutrition in view of the time pressure they
are forced
to eat such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
even if they comprehend the level of harm.
Therefore
, it is obligatory for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to consider the wills of that part of the population.

In conclusion
, I believe
even though
it is necessary for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
to support
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
not to eat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
by high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
, it could cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
problems for employees.
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IELTS essay In different countries, the figure for people who have big health issues is rising because of eating an immense amount of junk food. It is an essential reason for the state to impose a higher tax on such foods.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
355 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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