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In current world the use of technology has become inevitable. What are the benefits and drawbacks to usage of extensive technology?

It is irrefutable that technology has brought tremendous benefits to human life but at the same time it has same time it has some negative consequences also. In my opinion, its advantages outweigh disadvantages. To begin with, the pros of innovation are unlimited. One of the main positive aspect of technology is better communication. For instance; one can easily contact anyone through social media applications like Facebook and Whatsapp. Moreover, internet banking helps people to quickly transfer and receive payments while sitting at home. Online shopping saves time and efforts of people and they get detailed information about the product in the market. For example, Amazon is the most popular online retailer these days providing people the widest range of items. Secondly, technology plays an essential role in enhancing businesses because with the help of websites nowadays companies can promote themselves easily. Furthermore, manufacturing innovative machinery like robotics makes people to save their piece of time as well as it increases productivity. On the other hand, it has some drawbacks also. Technology is making people anti-social as numerous people are spending much time on their smartphones. In addition, the cases of crimes like cyber attack and violence among youngsters are increasing day by day. Additionally, due to this a plethora of people are suffering from various diseases such as obesity and weak eyesight. To conclude, innovation has definitely enriched our lives in many ways. Although there are some negative sides also but its advantages outweigh disadvantages.
It is irrefutable that
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technology
has brought tremendous benefits to human life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
at the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
it has same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequences
also
. In my opinion, its advantages outweigh disadvantages.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the pros of innovation
are unlimited
. One of the main
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
aspect of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is better communication.
For instance
; one can
easily
contact anyone through social media applications like Facebook and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Whatsapp
.
Moreover
, internet banking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
quickly
transfer and receive payments while sitting at home. Online shopping saves
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and efforts of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
people and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
detailed information about the product in the market.
For example
, Amazon is the most popular online retailer these days providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
the widest range of items.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
plays an essential role in enhancing businesses
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of websites nowadays
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
can promote themselves
easily
.
Furthermore
, manufacturing innovative machinery like robotics
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to save their piece of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
as well
as it increases productivity.

On the other hand
, it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks
also
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
is making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
anti-social as numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are spending much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on their smartphones.
In addition
, the cases of crimes like
This word is normally spelled as one.
cyber attack
and violence among youngsters are increasing day by day.
Additionally
, due to this a plethora of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are suffering from various diseases such as obesity and weak eyesight.

To conclude
, innovation has definitely enriched our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways. Although there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
sides
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
its advantages outweigh disadvantages.
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IELTS essay In current world the use of technology has become inevitable. What are the benefits and drawbacks to usage of extensive technology?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
246 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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