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In countries where there is a high rate of unemployment, most students should be offered only primary education. There is no point in offering secondary education to those who have no hope of finding a job. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

In countries where there is a high rate of unemployment, most students should be offered only primary education. There is no point in offering secondary education to those who have no hope of finding a job. v. 1
Some people are of the opinion that Elementary education should be the peak of learning in countries where there are no job opportunities as continuity to high school is irrelevant. It is disagreed that students should only acquire primary education in countries that are devoid of employment because there might be employment due to development and also secondary education broadens the horizon of students. First of all, global development has brought positive changes in most societies. Today, the world has become a global village with uprising development. To clarify, many years ago, there was no online business, now e-transactions enable people generate money online and with the use of their mobile phone. Therefore, change is constant and education should be continuous for students in order to fit into what development has to offer even though there might be not be jobs. Secondly, high school exposes students to various skills and vocation. Elementary school are not basis to acquire knowledge that can prepare young people for the society. To illustrate, South Africa lacks competent work force today because they never valued secondary education. As a result, labour force is presently occupied by foreigners and South Africans are left with unskilled jobs. Therefore, secondary education is beneficial to the society because it is crucial in broadening the student’s knowledge as well as making right choices in taking up a skill or vocation. In conclusion, it is disagreed that primary education should be the end point of learning in countries with increased unemployment because of recent technological modifications and the benefit of secondary education in helping students in their choice of career.
Some
people
are of the opinion that Elementary
education
should be the peak of learning in countries where there are no job opportunities as continuity to high school is irrelevant. It
is disagreed
that
students
should
only
acquire primary
education
in countries that are devoid of employment
because
there might be employment due to
development
and
also
secondary
education
broadens the horizon of students.

First of all
, global
development
has brought
positive
changes
in most societies.
Today
, the world has become a global village with uprising
development
. To clarify,
many
years ago, there was no online business,
now
e-transactions enable
people
generate money online and with the
use
of their mobile phone.
Therefore
,
change
is constant and
education
should be continuous for
students
in order to fit into what
development
has to
offer
even though
there might be not
be
jobs.

Secondly
, high school exposes
students
to various
skills
and vocation. Elementary school are not basis to acquire knowledge that can prepare young
people
for the society. To illustrate, South Africa lacks competent work force
today
because
they never valued
secondary
education
.
As a result
,
labour
force is
presently
occupied by foreigners and South Africans are
left
with unskilled jobs.
Therefore
,
secondary
education
is beneficial to the society
because
it is crucial in broadening the
student’s
knowledge
as well
as making right choices in taking up a
skill
or vocation.

In conclusion
, it
is disagreed
that primary
education
should be the
end
point of learning in countries with increased unemployment
because
of recent technological modifications and the benefit of
secondary
education
in helping
students
in their choice of career.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay In countries where there is a high rate of unemployment, most students should be offered only primary education. There is no point in offering secondary education to those who have no hope of finding a job. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
269 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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