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In company promotion should be given to employee inside the company not from outside

In company promotion should be given to employee inside the company not from outside k6BBM
It is argued that, higher position should be given to those people who are already serving the company not from out sources. This essay completely agrees with the statement. This this essay will first demonstrate how crucial is to promote employee internally, and followed by reasoned conclusion. Old experienced personnel know the company’s pros & cons hence they can hand any short of challenges arise in the company which is not possible by new one. Besides that, existing employee are sympathetic and they have emotion as well as love to their company which are mandatory for company growth. For instance, in KOREA plenty of company emphasis on inside sourcing for promotion instead of outside, resulting these company are being run in constructive way. Promoting higher rank from external sources is not sophisticated thinking at all. Because current employees usually work hard with honesty & dignity, thus the anticipate promotion from company. If they deprive from getting higher post due to out sourcing, they will not feel enthusiasm to work fast which actually carry quite value for a company development. For example, recently a study has been revealed by university of Cambridge stating that, those employers who endeavor to lead their company bi hiring top employee from outside avoiding existing employees they could not grow well. In a nut shell the fall down from competition. To sum up, it is recommended that existing experienced personnel should get priority for promotion in lieu of outside employee in order to get higher growth & profit
It
is argued
that, higher position should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to those
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who are already serving the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
not from out sources. This essay completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
with the statement.
Possible typo: you repeated a word
This this
essay will
first
demonstrate how crucial is to promote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
internally
, and followed by reasoned conclusion.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Old
experienced personnel know the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company’s
pros & cons
hence
they can hand any short of challenges
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "arises"? (Some collective nouns can be treated as both singular and plural, so 'arise' is not always incorrect.)
arise
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
which is not possible by new one.
Besides
that, existing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
are
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
sympathetic and
they have emotion
as well
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
which are mandatory for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
growth.
For instance
, in KOREA
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
emphasis on inside sourcing for promotion
instead
of outside, resulting these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
are
being run
in constructive way.

Promoting higher rank from external sources is not sophisticated thinking at all.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
usually
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
with honesty & dignity,
thus
After 'the', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'anticipate' is correct. If 'anticipate' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
the anticipate
promotion from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
. If they
The usual collocation for "deprive" is "of" not "". Did you mean "deprive of"?
deprive from
getting higher post due to out sourcing, they will not feel enthusiasm to work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
which actually carry quite value for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
development.
For example
, recently a study has
been revealed
by
If the term is a proper noun, use the suggested capitalization.
university of Cambridge
stating that, those employers who endeavor to lead their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
bi hiring top
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
from outside avoiding existing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
they could not grow well. In a nut shell the fall down from competition.

To sum up, it
is recommended
that existing experienced personnel should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
priority for promotion in lieu of outside
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
higher growth & profit
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IELTS essay In company promotion should be given to employee inside the company not from outside

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
251 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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