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In COMPANIES PROMOTION TO HIGH POSITIONS SHOULD BE GIVEN TO EMPLOYESS INSIDE THE COMPANY AND NOT TO SOMEBODY OUTSIDEOR NEW HIRING. Do you agree or disagree.

In COMPANIES PROMOTION TO HIGH POSITIONS SHOULD BE GIVEN TO EMPLOYESS INSIDE THE COMPANY AND NOT TO SOMEBODY OUTSIDEOR NEW HIRING. yNQdd
. Companies in order to fulfill their vacancies at higher level of management give promotion to existing employees or hire someone from outside. Hiring a person from outside seems to have a lot risk involved as a trust issue remains a major concern for an enterprise. Both the topics are further elaborated in this essay with suitable illustrations. Nowadays we are observing that myriads of companies with high goodwill in the market have employees having post at higher level of management. It is well said that “Employees are the invaluable assets of the firm” therefore, a company has to provide them a reward so the other staff gets spurred on and can contribute their service to the business unit. The existing employees are aware about all the economic activities of the business and hence they can be considered as a person ideal for promotion at executive level. Further emotional attachment of that person is much higher than that of an outsider. So majority of companies opt for this option. On the other hand, many companies are such that they recruit the outsiders as their belief is to bring skillful employees so that with their new ideas they can acquire profits in business. In addition to this hiring someone from outside the business can reduce the biasness among the existing companies as they won’t that the company is partial towards them and hence co-operation between the staff is maintained. Therefore I firmly believe in my notion that hiring an insider is the safest option that a company can opt for. This will not only escalate the acquisitiveness among the employees but also increase the trust of the employees for the company.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.


This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Companies
in order to fulfill their vacancies at higher level of management give promotion to existing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
or hire someone from outside. Hiring a person from outside seems to have a lot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
involved as a trust issue remains a major concern for an enterprise. Both the topics are
further
elaborated in this essay with suitable illustrations.

Nowadays we are observing that myriads of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
with high goodwill in the market have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
having post at higher level of management. It is well said that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
“Employees
are the invaluable assets of the firm”
therefore
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
provide them a reward
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the other staff
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
spurred on and can contribute their service to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
unit. The existing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
are aware about all the economic activities of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
and
hence
they can
be considered
as a person ideal for promotion at executive level.
Further
emotional attachment of that person is much higher than that of an outsider.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
opt for this option.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
are such that they recruit the outsiders as their belief is to bring skillful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that with their new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
they can acquire profits in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
.
In addition
to this hiring someone from outside the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
biasness
among the existing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
as they won’t that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
is partial towards them and
hence
co-operation between the staff
is maintained
.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
I
firmly
believe in my notion that hiring an insider is the safest option that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
can opt for. This will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
escalate the acquisitiveness among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
increase the trust of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
.
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IELTS essay In COMPANIES PROMOTION TO HIGH POSITIONS SHOULD BE GIVEN TO EMPLOYESS INSIDE THE COMPANY AND NOT TO SOMEBODY OUTSIDEOR NEW HIRING.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
280 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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