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Energy generation by a hydroelectric dam.

Energy generation by a hydroelectric dam. m2KAq
In the given picture we can see how a hydroelectric dam generates electricity using water. The apparatus is located by a river, so that there is a constant source of water around the station. The machine converts water energy into electricity that is afterwards transported via long distance power lines to the places where it is needed. Water uptake into the hydroelectric dam is a cyclic process. There is a big reservoir that provides masses of river water available for intake and further electricity generation. The flow undergoes filtration and passes along a penstock - a tube that leads to a turbine. Having passed the machine, water returns back into the river. Electricity itself is generated when water comes to a turbine. The pressure made by a turbine pushing water releases energy. A generator, located in a powerhouse, converts that energy into electricity which is then transported using long distance power lines.
In the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
picture we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
how a hydroelectric dam generates
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
using water.

The apparatus
is located
by a river,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that there is a constant source of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
around the station. The machine converts
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
energy into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
that is
afterwards transported via long distance power lines to the places where it
is needed
.

Water uptake into the hydroelectric dam is a cyclic process. There is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
reservoir that provides masses of river
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
available for intake and
further
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
generation. The flow undergoes filtration and passes along a
Possible spelling mistake found.
penstock
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
a tube that leads to a turbine. Having passed the machine,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
Consider using "returns".
returns back
into the river.

Electricity itself
is generated
when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to a turbine. The pressure made by a turbine pushing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
releases energy. A generator, located in a powerhouse, converts that energy into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
which is then transported using long distance power lines.
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IELTS essay Energy generation by a hydroelectric dam.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
152 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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