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In cities and towns all over the world the high volume of traffic is a problem. What are the causes of this and what actions can be taken to solve this problem? v.9

In cities and towns all over the world the high volume of traffic is a problem. What are the causes of this and what actions can be taken to solve this problem? v. 9
Road congestion are the most common concern of many urban areas in the modern world. Traffic jam exerts negative impacts upon our health and also enviroment. However, the severity of the problem can be mitigated by developing public awareness and raising taxes. To begin with, high volume of traffic is mainly caused by habit. Racing against the clock in the morning is an everyday situation for most people, as a result, a significantly large amount of cars pull into the high-way at the same time create rush hour. Likewise, the same story occurred in the afternoon and night as people are rushing to get home. Consequently, traffic gridlock have become a hard to solve puzzle to every government. Another reason for an upsurge in the amount of traffic is the convenience of personal transportation. To many people, owning a car is more cost effective than traveling by public buses or subway. These reasons have led to the increase in the number of traffic. Nevertheless, there are a variety of solution that could be taken to tackle the problem. First of all, the burden of responsibilities lies in the hand of the government. Encouraging inhabitants to use public transportation play a crucial role in eliminating rush hour. By raising awareness about the environmental problem that caused by heavy traffic, people are exposed to the unfortunate truth, therefore, more people will utilize public transportation instead of their car. High volume of traffic is one of the most severe problem which is caused by people habit. Nonetheless, I believe that the problem can be tackled by raising public awareness on the bad influence of car to our enviroment and also our health.
Road congestion are the most common concern of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
urban areas in the modern world.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Traffic
jam exerts
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts upon our health and
also
Possible spelling mistake found.
enviroment
.
However
, the severity of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
can
be mitigated
by developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
awareness and raising taxes.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, high volume of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
is
mainly
caused by habit. Racing against the clock in the morning is an everyday situation for most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
as a result
, a
significantly
large amount of cars pull into the high-way at the same time create rush hour.
Likewise
, the same story occurred in the afternoon and night as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are rushing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
home.
Consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
gridlock have become a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to solve puzzle to every
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
. Another reason for an upsurge in the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
is the convenience of personal transportation. To
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, owning a car is more cost effective than traveling by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
buses or subway. These reasons have led to the increase in the number of traffic.

Nevertheless
, there are a variety of solution that could
be taken
to tackle the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the burden of responsibilities lies in the hand of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
. Encouraging inhabitants to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transportation play a crucial role in eliminating rush hour. By raising awareness about the environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
that caused by heavy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are exposed
to the unfortunate truth,
therefore
, more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will utilize
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transportation
instead
of their car.

High volume of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
is one of the most severe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
which
is caused
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
habit. Nonetheless, I believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
can
be tackled
by raising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
awareness on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
influence of car to our
Possible spelling mistake found.
enviroment
and
also
our health.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
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IELTS essay In cities and towns all over the world the high volume of traffic is a problem. What are the causes of this and what actions can be taken to solve this problem? v. 9

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
279 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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