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In cities and towns all over the world, the high volume of traffic is a problem. What are the causes of this and what actions can be taken to solve this problem? v.8

In cities and towns all over the world, the high volume of traffic is a problem. What are the causes of this and what actions can be taken to solve this problem? v. 8
In today's world, traffic congestion is an extremely difficult problem for commuters around the globe. A 10 minutes office to home ride had become a pathetic 40 minutes or even longer ride, spending one's valuable time on roads. This essay will explore some of the causes and recommended practices to reduce this issue. The possible sources for increased traffic could be from several factors. Firstly, I consider migration of people from urban areas to cities in search of making a living as one of the primary reasons. This, in turn, leads to increased number of vehicles on the road. Based on a recent study conducted by the Transportation Department of London, there is a 20% surge in volume of car sale in the United Kingdom each year over the last decade. Secondly, failing to adhere to traffic rules is another factor contributing to the waiting time due to traffic. The government and public should be pragmatic about the actions that will solve this issue. The government should encourage using public transport instead of personal vehicles because in my country one will hardly find a co-passenger in a car other than the driver. In addition, the traffic control department should implement stringent traffic rules, for instance, diverting traffic in peak hours on a particular avenue. In summary, a rapid rise in the car users is one of a major reason for increasingly pathetic traffic congestion. The government and public should cooperate to reduce the number of vehicles by using public transport.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's world,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
congestion is an
extremely
difficult problem for commuters around the globe. A 10 minutes office to home ride had become a pathetic 40 minutes or even longer ride, spending one's valuable time on roads. This essay will explore
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
causes and recommended practices to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
this issue.

The possible sources for increased
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
could be from several factors.
Firstly
, I consider migration of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from urban areas to cities in search of making a living as one of the primary reasons. This, in turn, leads to increased number of vehicles on the road. Based on a recent study conducted by the Transportation Department of London, there is a 20% surge in volume of car sale in the United Kingdom each year over the last decade.
Secondly
, failing to adhere to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
is another factor contributing to the waiting time due to traffic.

The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
should be pragmatic about the actions that will solve this issue. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should encourage using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transport
instead
of personal vehicles
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
in my country one will hardly find a co-passenger in a car other than the driver.
In addition
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
control department should implement stringent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
,
for instance
, diverting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
in peak hours on a particular avenue.

In summary, a rapid rise in the car users is one of a major reason for
increasingly
pathetic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
congestion. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
should cooperate to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the number of vehicles by using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transport.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
11Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Language comes first. It’s not that language grows out of consciousness, if you haven’t got language, you can’t be conscious.
Alan Moore

IELTS essay In cities and towns all over the world, the high volume of traffic is a problem. What are the causes of this and what actions can be taken to solve this problem? v. 8

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
250 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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