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In cities and towns all over the world, the high volume of traffic is a problem. What are the causes of this and what actions can be taken to solve this problem? v.7

In cities and towns all over the world, the high volume of traffic is a problem. What are the causes of this and what actions can be taken to solve this problem? v. 7
It is a fact that traffic congestion has become a serious problem for many cities and towns. More and more people get stressed with this situation, as they have to spend hours after hours in the street and lose their productivity and valuable time. The following essay will discuss the cause of the issue and some of the solutions that can be taken into account. For a number of reasons, traffic has become the main problem of many cities and towns all over the world. Firstly, as the population growth in many metropolis cities such as in Shanghai, New York, Dhaka and Bangkok has increased rapidly in the past recent years, it means that there are more cars in the city. Secondly, in some cities, such as in Jakarta or Manila, public transportation facilities are poorly managed therefore the people choose to drive their own vehicles. Lastly, in many countries such as Indonesia or China, the economic development is not widely spread, and a result a lot of people from rural areas move to cities which would create traffic related problems. The number of commuters in many cities has increased dramatically but in proportion, the total number of roads remained almost same as it was in the past. Many people are buying private cars and it is not unusual that many families own more than one car. These two reasons with the poor traffic management system in many cities cause unmanageable traffic jam nowadays. However, there are several things that the government could do to reduce the problem. The state government should provide decent, safe and clean public transportation facilities, therefore more people would use public transports, instead of driving their own private vehicles. And then the government should develop new industrial and commercial areas outside of the city. It is hoped that some people would move to these new areas, and would reduce the density problem. The government could provide some bicycle lane, as it brings a lot of benefit for the people and the city itself. Bicycles as the primary means of communication could reduce traffic. It is also safer for the environment and has positive effects on the rider’s health. The roads and highways should be expanded and new roads should be introduced. Severe punishment should be imposed for violating traffic rules and restriction should be implemented in private car ownership. Finally, improved traffic system should be introduced and unfit cars and vehicles should be removed from the streets. In conclusion, cities and towns all over the world are facing serious traffic problem these days. It is mainly due to of the population growth, density and poor public transportation facility. But there are several things that the government could do to address the problem, such as improving the public transports, developing new areas and persuade its resident in using bicycles.
It is a fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
congestion has become a serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
and towns. More and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
with this situation, as they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
spend hours after hours in the street and lose their productivity and valuable time. The following essay will discuss the cause of the issue and
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
solutions that can
be taken
into account.

For a number of reasons,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
has become the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
and towns all over the world.
Firstly
, as the population growth in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
metropolis
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
such as in Shanghai,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
New
York, Dhaka and Bangkok has increased
rapidly
in the past recent years, it means that there are more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
in the city.
Secondly
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
, such as in Jakarta or Manila,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transportation facilities are
poorly
managed
therefore
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
choose to drive their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
vehicles.
Lastly
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries such as Indonesia or China, the economic development is not
widely
spread, and a result
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to
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cities
which would create
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
. The number of commuters in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
has increased
dramatically
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in proportion, the total number of roads remained almost same as it was in the past.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are buying private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
and it is not unusual that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
families
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
more than one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
. These two reasons with the poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
management system in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
cause unmanageable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
jam nowadays.

However
, there are several things that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
could do to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
. The state
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should provide decent, safe and clean
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transportation facilities,
therefore
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transports,
instead
of driving their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
private vehicles. And then the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should develop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
industrial and commercial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "outside".
outside of
the city. It
is hoped
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
, and would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the density
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
could provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
bicycle lane, as it brings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
benefit for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and the city itself. Bicycles as the primary means of communication could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
. It is
also
safer for the environment and has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects on the rider’s health. The roads and highways should
be expanded
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
roads should
be introduced
. Severe punishment should
be imposed
for violating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and restriction should
be implemented
in private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
ownership.
Finally
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
system should
be introduced
and unfit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
and vehicles should
be removed
from the streets.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
and towns all over the world are facing serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
these days. It is
mainly
due to of the population growth, density and poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transportation facility.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
there are several things that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
could do to address the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
, such as improving the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transports, developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
and persuade its resident in using bicycles.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
55Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay In cities and towns all over the world, the high volume of traffic is a problem. What are the causes of this and what actions can be taken to solve this problem? v. 7

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
473 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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