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In Britain, when someone gets old they often go to live in a home with other old people where there are nurses to look after them. Sometimes the government has to pay for this care. Who do you think should pay for this care, the government or the family?

In most of the developed countries with ageing population, a trend has been set to send elderly citizens into senior homes where they are being looked after along with many others of similar age. There remains a debate whether the expenses pertaining to these facilities should be borne by the government or paid by their respective families. During old age it is best for one to be around one's family. However, there could be certain situations where an elderly person is having health issues requiring constant professional medical care. For instance, when one is undergoing certain psychological inhibitions such as Alzheimer's disease it is advisable to transfer them to a senior home where proper medical attention and care will be provided to keep things at bay. It will also enhance the safety of the person and the household. In such situations, if the family is undergoing a difficult financial situation they will be further burdened if they have to pay for the facilities of their family member. There could also be situations where an elderly person does not have any immediate family to take care of them or bear the expenses. In such circumstances it would be best that these senior people have a certain way of assurance about their well-being during the autumn years of their lives. One could also argue that these elderly people once had been working and contributed to the economy and well being of the country. Their share of contribution had been provided in terms of taxes that had been paid and the service rendered when they were part of the working population. Thus a direct responsibility lies on the government to take care of their citizens who are now in their old age. Thus my opinion would be that the government should have a social care system where elderly population of the country are provided the required facilities after considering the financial situation of their immediate family and presence of people to take care of them at their own households. If the immediate family members are willing to take care but do not have the means to do so, a pension scheme would be ideal so that respective health expenses are taken care of in an orderly manner which would not burden the economy. In conclusion, one should always bear in mind that they were once all strong and capable and were responsible for the development we see today in the world. A progressive society is one which knows gratitude and looks after people who once carried the burden for the well being of the others.
In most of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
with
Possible spelling mistake. ‘ageing’ is British English.
ageing
population, a trend has
been set
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
citizens into senior homes where they are
being looked
after along with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
others of similar age. There remains a debate whether the expenses pertaining to these facilities should
be borne
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
or paid by their respective families.

During
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
age it is best for one to be around one's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
However
, there could be certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
where an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
person is having health issues requiring constant professional medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
.
For instance
, when one is undergoing certain psychological inhibitions such as Alzheimer's disease it is advisable to transfer them to a senior home where proper medical attention and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
will
be provided
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
things at bay. It will
also
enhance the safety of the person and the household. In such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
is undergoing a difficult financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
they will be
further
burdened if they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay for the facilities of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
member. There could
also
be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
where an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
person does not have any immediate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of them or bear the expenses. In such circumstances it would be best that these senior
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have a certain way of assurance about their well-being during the autumn years of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

One could
also
argue that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
once had been working and contributed to the economy and
This word is normally spelled with a hyphen.
well being
of the country. Their share of contribution had
been provided
in terms of taxes that had
been paid
and the service rendered when they were part of the working population.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
a direct responsibility lies on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of their citizens who are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
in their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
age.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
my opinion would be that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should have a social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
system where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
population of the country
are provided
the required facilities after considering the financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
of their immediate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and presence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of them at their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
households. If the immediate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members are willing to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
do not have the means to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, a pension scheme would be ideal
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that respective health expenses
are taken
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of in an orderly manner which would not burden the economy.

In conclusion
, one should always bear in mind that they were once all strong and capable and were responsible for the development we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
in the world. A progressive society is one which knows gratitude and looks after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who once carried the burden for the
This word is normally spelled with a hyphen.
well being
of the others.
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IELTS essay In Britain, when someone gets old they often go to live in a home with other old people where there are nurses to look after them. Sometimes the government has to pay for this care. Who do you think should pay for this care, the government or the family?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
432 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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