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In Britain, when someone gets old they often go to live in a home with other old people where there are nurses to look after them. Sometimes the government has to pay for this care. Who do you think should pay for this care, the government or the family? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.25

In Britain, when someone gets old they often go to live in a home with other old people where there are nurses to look after them. Sometimes the government has to pay for this care. Who do you think should pay for this care, the government or the family? v. 25
In today's era, old care homes have been increasing tremendously due to the lack of attachments with each other in the family. Moreover, the union is playing a significant role in providing the compensation to the older people to stay at old care homes and spend their remaining life with others. As per my point of view, I believe that both, ministry and family should be responsible to bear the expense of older people to live there. In a developed country like Britain, state is deducting the taxes and the retirement compensation from an individual from the beginning of his/her earning till he get retired. For instance, a person has served for around 40 years in his whole life till he gets retired and in these 40 years, he has paid a huge amount to state, being an honest tax payer and the ministry also invested the amount further to receive more income irrespective of the expenses. So, I personally believe that government should also revert back in providing retirement benefits in the form of paying for old care homes. On the contrary, Family is equally responsible to pay the expenses as the union is. As no one will happily move to an old age home unless there is a peer pressure by the family members or irresponsibility of taking care of the older people in their home. For example, in modern culture, it has been noticed when children get married, they usually leaves their parents and prefer to live alone. Passing on responsibility to family member might lead to elder people to get what they deserve or if not then paid in proportionate. In the nutshell, equal funding is the best way to give a present to the man who served for himself, his/her family and by paying taxes to the government until he gets retired regardless of anything.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's era,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
have been increasing
tremendously
due to the lack of attachments with each other in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
Moreover
, the union is playing a significant role in providing the compensation to the older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to stay at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
and spend their remaining life with others. As per my point of view, I believe that both, ministry and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
should be responsible to bear the expense of older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
there.

In a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed country
like Britain, state is deducting the taxes and the retirement compensation from an individual from the beginning of his/her earning till
Did you mean "the"?
he
The pronoun 'he' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "gets", "got".
get
retired.
For instance
, a person has served for around 40 years in his whole life till he
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gets
retired and in these 40 years, he has paid a huge amount to state, being an honest tax payer and the ministry
also
invested the amount
further
to receive more income irrespective of the expenses.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, I
personally
believe that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
also
Consider using "revert".
revert back
in providing retirement benefits in the form of paying for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
homes.

On the contrary
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Family
is
equally
responsible to pay the expenses as the union is. As no one will
happily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
age home unless there is a peer pressure by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members or irresponsibility of taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of the older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in their home.
For example
, in modern culture, it has
been noticed
when children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
get
married, they
usually
The pronoun 'they' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "leaf", "leave"
leaves
their parents and prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
alone. Passing on responsibility to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
member might lead to elder
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
get
what they deserve or if not then paid in proportionate.

In the nutshell, equal funding is the best way to give a present to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
who served for himself, his/her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and by paying taxes to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
until he
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gets
retired regardless of anything.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay In Britain, when someone gets old they often go to live in a home with other old people where there are nurses to look after them. Sometimes the government has to pay for this care. Who do you think should pay for this care, the government or the family? v. 25

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
310 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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