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In a number of countries, some people thinks it’s necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

In a number of countries, some people thinks it’s necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. 2bljk
In many regions around the world, a large number of people argue that some money should be used to construct high-speed trains between cities. On the other hand, some people suggest that upgrading public transports using this money are more preferred. In this essay, I want to outline both sides and attempt to conclude. Nowadays, people choose to move to another place where further away from cities because house prices are slightly affordable than in big cities. The high-speed train needed to travel a greater distance in short times. In addition, traveling using fast trains possibly reduce cost and travel time when people want to visit relatives or conduct business. In other words, people may not buy a plane ticket which has a higher price or spend a long and uncomfortable journey. Nevertheless, the cost to build the high-speed railway system is very high; therefore, this can be used for others requirements. This idea leads to a new solution to improve public transportation. Recently, many old buses produce a lot of smoke which leads to the increase of pollution in the world. As a consequence, the way to solve this problem is to improve public transport to become environmentally friendly. This means that the gas produced would not produce harmful emissions. An electrical bus, for instance, can be used as one a solution to reduce pollutants. In summary, having high-speed trains in the cities gives benefits to connect people in the cities; however, the construction needs a higher cost. Hence, improving public transport can be used as a solution before taking a new plan.
In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
regions around the world,
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
money should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to construct
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high-speed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
suggest that upgrading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transports using this money are more preferred. In this essay, I want to outline both sides and attempt
to conclude
.

Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
choose to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to another place where
further
away from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
prices are
slightly
affordable than in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high-speed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
train
needed to travel a greater distance in short times.
In addition
, traveling using
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
possibly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
cost and travel time when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want to visit relatives or conduct business.
In other words
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plane
ticket which has a higher price or spend a long and uncomfortable journey.
Nevertheless
, the cost to build the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high-speed
railway system is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
high;
therefore
, this can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for others requirements.

This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
leads to a new solution to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transportation. Recently,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
buses produce
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
smoke which leads to the increase of pollution in the world. As a consequence, the way to solve this problem is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transport to become
environmentally
friendly. This means that the gas produced would not produce harmful emissions. An electrical bus,
for instance
, can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
as one a solution to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
pollutants.

In summary, having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high-speed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
gives benefits to connect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
;
however
, the construction needs a higher cost.
Hence
, improving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transport can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
as a solution
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
taking a new plan.
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IELTS essay In a number of countries, some people thinks it’s necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
264 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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