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There are many reasons that can motivate a person to stay working for the same company. Some believe that money is the main reason. (Do you agree or disagree?) What are some other reasons why people may stay?

There are many reasons that can motivate a person to stay working for the same company. Some believe that money is the main reason. ( ) What are some other reasons why people may stay? bYDnY
What motivates a person to stick with an organisation is always been debatable. Many people think that salary is the deciding factor where as another section believes there are other contributing factors including being comfortable too in many ways. This essay will discuss both views and prove that payment can be a major fact but not the sole one. The majority of our waking hours are spent at our place of business. Therefore, it is paramount that a person be happy where he works. But, the reality is different. Time spent at the work place may not be ideal. At the same time he or she will be able to live a peaceful life at home by attaining whatever possible through wealth: good education for children, posh house to live and once in a while family outing and so on. These factors are clear indicators, why financial income is the only reason people survive in a firm, long term. Finance aside, remaining at a establishment for a lengthy period of time results from multiple benefits an employ enjoys there. Firstly, there are those who find the stress of changing companies overwhelming and prefer to remain in familiar territory. These are people who typically relish routine and dread the unknown. There are reports which clearly vindicate the reasons for this; including, geographical location, comfortable working environment and appreciative employer. The fun associated with these elements is definitely stopping people to change their job occasionally. To conclude, motivations to be with a company for long will always be individual dependent. This essay discussed how critical is fund, a deciding factor for many for a long run in a firm and at the time there are many more people who are compelled to stay in an organization for other pressing reasons.
What motivates a person to stick with an
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
is always been debatable.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that salary is the deciding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factor
Did you mean "whereas"?
where as
another section believes there are other contributing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
including being comfortable too in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways. This essay will discuss both views and prove that payment can be a major fact
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not the sole one.

The majority of our waking hours
are spent
at our place of business.
Therefore
, it is paramount that a person be happy where he works.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, the reality is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Time
spent at the work place may not be ideal. At the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
he or she will be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a peaceful life at home by attaining whatever possible through wealth:
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
education for children, posh
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
and once in a while family outing and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
indicators, why financial income is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
reason
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
survive in a firm, long term.

Finance aside, remaining at
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
establishment for a lengthy period of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
results from multiple benefits an employ enjoys there.
Firstly
, there are those who find the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
of changing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
overwhelming and prefer to remain in familiar territory. These are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
typically
relish routine and dread the unknown. There are reports which
clearly
vindicate the reasons for this; including, geographical location, comfortable working environment and appreciative employer. The fun associated with these elements is definitely stopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their job
occasionally
.

To conclude
, motivations to be with a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
for long will always be individual dependent. This essay discussed how critical is fund, a deciding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factor
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
for a long run in a firm and at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
are compelled
to stay in an
Do not mix variants of the same word ('organization' and 'organisation') within a single text.
organization
for other pressing reasons.
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IELTS essay There are many reasons that can motivate a person to stay working for the same company. Some believe that money is the main reason. ( ) What are some other reasons why people may stay?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
298 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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