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In Some Countries, Young People Are Encouraged To Work Or Travel For A Year Between High School And University

In Some Countries, Young People Are Encouraged To Work Or Travel For A Year Between High School And University 0AA6q
In some countries, youthful people are working or traveling for a year between completed high school and pursuing university studies. This essay will discuss both the benefits and drawbacks of this trend. There are many advantages after high school completed to taking a break. Firstly, when young people are traveling to the world he various experience of culture and to explore their knowledge but also meet a new people. For example, when youngsters are travel around the world he get the real life experience. When meet a new people they developing a new language an also conversation skill. Secondly, some younger are working during this time. Because he want to developed a skill and also earn money fast. Some students choose a right career path. for instance, many companies are their no need a degree he see the your knowledge and your will power. That's why some young people are choosing the job after completed high school. However, for every positive there is a negative. Working or traveling after completion of high school taking a year gap and breaks the important of studies. Some students are more important for working and they think very fast earning. Unfortunately student not give the necessary of studies. Without good qualifications, it is impossible to find a job or bulid a successful career. The gap year can seriously impact of career of students who lose their focus on studies. In conclusion, their are both merits and demerits to taking a year gap after high school. Their can be benefits for students who continoue their studies with after breaks.
In
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some
countries, youthful
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people
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
or traveling for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
between completed
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high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and pursuing university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
. This essay will discuss both the benefits and drawbacks of this trend.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages after
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high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
completed to taking a break.
Firstly
, when young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are traveling to the world
It seems that a verb is missing after "he". Please verify.
he
various experience of culture and to explore their knowledge
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
a new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
For example
, when youngsters are travel around the world he
The pronoun 'he' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "gets", "got".
get
the real life experience.
“When” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
When
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
a new
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people
Did you mean "they're developing", "they are developing", or "they were developing"?
they developing
a new language
Did you mean "and" or "any"?
an
You used an adverb ('also') instead of an adjective, or a noun ('conversation') instead of another adjective.
also conversation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Did you mean "young", "youngers"?
younger
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
during this time.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
he
The pronoun 'he' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "wants", "wanted".
want
Did you mean "to develop"?
to developed
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
and
also
earn money
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fast
.
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Some
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students
choose a right career path.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
instance,
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many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
are their no need a degree he
The pronoun 'he' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "sees", "saw".
see
A determiner cannot combine with a possessive pronoun. Did you mean simply "your knowledge" or "the knowledge"?
the your knowledge
and your will power. That's why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are choosing the job after completed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
school.

However
, for every
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
there is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Working
or traveling after completion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
taking a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
gap and breaks the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
of
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studies
.
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Some
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students
are more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
working and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
earning. Unfortunately
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student
not give the necessary of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
. Without
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
qualifications, it is impossible to find a job or
Possible spelling mistake found.
bulid
a successful career. The gap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
can
seriously
impact of career of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who lose their focus on studies.

In conclusion
,
Did you mean "there"?
their
are both merits and demerits to taking a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
gap after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. Their can be benefits for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who
Possible spelling mistake found.
continoue
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
with after breaks.
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IELTS essay In Some Countries, Young People Are Encouraged To Work Or Travel For A Year Between High School And University

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
264 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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