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not only can advertising increase transactions but other reasons also make customers purchase goods.

not only can advertising increase transactions but other reasons also make customers purchase goods. GLwoj
Just a few decades ago, marketing activities were not popular. However, it has now played a key role in the daily life of citizens through television, the World Wide Web, in the street and even on our mobile phones. Some people think that the only reason that strongly affects them on buying trivital products is because some companies use advertising to attract customers. From my point of view, I partially agree with this statement but I believe that not only can advertising increase transactions but other reasons also make customers purchase goods. First, enterprises boost their profits by inviting celebrities to become their ambassadors and represent their advertising. For example, famous people always have a large number of followers who are willing to spend money on these products which have their idol’s images on the advertisements regardless of whether they need them or not. Second, marketing nowadays focuses on designing advertisements in such a way that catches the attention of customers. A good example could be a smartphone. On television, it may look gorgeous and high quality. People tend to spend a large amount of money buying the latest phone like the Iphone 11 which arouses the desire of humans to own a trend-catching item. On the other hand, there are other elements that make clients select commodities. Advertising may not be the main cause of customer’s buying habits. For instance, if people want to buy a good, they will contemplate the cost as well as quality of it in order to allocate their budgets. In addition, consumers know what thing is essential for them. Therefore, when it comes to their demands of life, whether the rich or the poor do not pay attention to advertising messages. In conclusion, in my opinion, the power of advertising can lead people to go shopping and help businesses increase revenue. However, it is clear that purchasers have more reasonable reasons for buying items according to their financial situation or shopping habits.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Just
a few decades ago, marketing activities were not popular.
However
, it has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
played a key role in the daily life of citizens through television, the World Wide Web, in the street and even on our mobile phones.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
reason that
strongly
affects them on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buying
Possible spelling mistake found.
trivital
products is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
advertising to attract
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
. From my point of view, I
partially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I believe that not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
can advertising increase transactions
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
other reasons
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
.

First
, enterprises boost their profits by inviting celebrities to become their ambassadors and represent their advertising.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
always have
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
followers who are willing to spend money on these products which have their idol’s images on the advertisements regardless of whether they need them or not.

Second, marketing nowadays focuses on designing advertisements in such a way that catches the attention of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
example could be a smartphone. On television, it may look gorgeous and high quality.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
tend to spend a large amount of money
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buying
the latest phone like the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Iphone
11 which arouses the desire of humans to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
a trend-catching item.

On the other hand
, there are other elements that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
clients select commodities. Advertising may not be the main cause of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customer’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buying
habits.
For instance
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
, they will contemplate the cost
as well
as quality of it in order to allocate their budgets.
In addition
, consumers know what thing is essential for them.
Therefore
, when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to their demands of life, whether the rich or the poor do not pay attention to advertising messages.

In conclusion
, in my opinion, the power of advertising can lead
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to go shopping and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
businesses increase revenue.
However
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that purchasers have more reasonable reasons for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buying
items according to their financial situation or shopping habits.
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IELTS essay not only can advertising increase transactions but other reasons also make customers purchase goods.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
328 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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