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The influences of the internet on youth development

The influences of the internet on youth development 30x7d
In today’s world where everything is just one click away. The youth are quite adept at using technology for all purposes. The internet is taking over the minds of the youth, who seem to be unable to function at all without it. It is increasingly becoming an unhealthy habit which needs to be curbed consciously. This essay will discuss some influences for the youth such as personality issue, physical and mental health and poor performance. First and foremost, one of the negative impacts is that personality issues which has been led to from virtual establishment of networks and relations thanks to development of the internet. The youth fear face to face conversation, and feel more comfortable when interacting through a screen. As a result, they always live on virtual life, so they cannot seek confidence, happiness or sometimes lose themselves. According to researching, the previous generation is far happier and healthier because they live in a social without a development of the internet. They just have some common games, and have more time to do different activities such as talk with their parents, elders or relatives. They interact with people much more than the equipment. Secondly, the other as well as the most concerned issue from people that is impacted from growth of the internet is physical and mental health. Spending hours on the internet makes the youth lazier, they do not want to go outside to attend some activities. In fact, they just sit in front of the screen and work with the internet. That reasons some illnesses like as insomnia, skeleton damage in general and degenerative spine in specific. Moreover, it also injures mental health for example brain disorder. It is very dangerous for them at that time and in the future because they have to suffer it in a long period time. Thirdly, poor performance is undeniable problems in consequences of the internet’s expansion. The youth’s performance in school can be negative affect if they preoccupied with games on the internet. They become “game-holic” people and they do not care about anything else. Consequently, the youth do not have enough energy to work at their optimum level because they get exhausted from a late night of game playing. Result and score in school will be affected when they are continuing to play game or use the internet a lot. They need to realize soon to control what they do. Unless they can be more and more go in deep and cannot exist this hazard. In conclusion, develop of the internet brings some negative effect to the youth. In the other hand, it is not bad completely, but the youth need to have ability to understand the negative effects to avoid in time. Internet gives they everything they want by just one a click. However, they should be conscious to analyze bad or good things to choose which are suitable for them and do not live depend on the internet. Valuable thing is on a human being, not a material because we were born to live in real life, not virtual life.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s world where everything is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
one click away. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
are quite adept at using technology for all purposes. The internet is taking over the minds of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
, who seem to be unable to function at all without it. It is
increasingly
becoming an unhealthy habit which needs to
be curbed
consciously
. This essay will discuss
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
influences for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
such as personality issue, physical and mental health and poor performance.

First
and foremost, one of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
impacts is that personality issues which has
been led
to from virtual establishment of networks and relations thanks to development of the internet. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
fear face to face conversation, and feel more comfortable when interacting through a screen.
As a result
, they always
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
on virtual life,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they cannot seek confidence, happiness or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
lose themselves. According to researching, the previous generation is far happier and healthier
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in a social without a development of the internet. They
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
, and have more time to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
activities such as talk with their parents, elders or relatives. They interact with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
much more than the equipment.

Secondly
, the other
as well
as the most concerned issue from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that
is impacted
from growth of the internet is physical and mental health. Spending hours on the internet
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
lazier, they do not want to go outside to attend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
activities. In fact, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
sit in front of the screen and work with the internet. That reasons
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
illnesses like as insomnia, skeleton damage
in general
and degenerative spine in specific.
Moreover
, it
also
injures mental health
for example
brain disorder. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
for them at that time and in the future
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
suffer it in a long period time.

Thirdly
, poor performance is undeniable problems in consequences of the internet’s expansion. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth’s
performance in school can be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
affect if they preoccupied with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
on the internet. They become “
Possible spelling mistake found.
game-holic
”
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
people and
they do not care about anything else.
Consequently
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
energy to work at their optimum level
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
exhausted from a late night of game playing. Result and score in school will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
when they are continuing to play game or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the internet a lot. They need to realize
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
to control what they do. Unless they can be more and more go in deep and cannot exist this hazard.

In conclusion
, develop of the internet brings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
effect to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
. In the other hand, it is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
completely,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
need to have ability to understand the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
effects to avoid in time. Internet gives
Do not use a noun immediately after the pronoun 'they'. Use a verb or an adverb, or possibly some other part of speech.
they everything
they want by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
one a click.
However
, they should be conscious to analyze
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
things to choose which are suitable for them and do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
depend on the internet. Valuable thing is on a human being, not a material
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
we
were born
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in real life, not virtual life.
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IELTS essay The influences of the internet on youth development

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
514 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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