Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Improvements in health, education and trade are essential for the development of poorer nations. However, the governments of richer nations should take more responsibility for helping the poorer nations in such areas. To what extent do you agree?

Undoubtedly governments of developed nations should share the responsibility of helping less fortunate nations. Different measures exist, ranging from market access to direct financial payments or even medical assistance. This essay will explain why certain measures are inherently better than other methods. Firstly, the most adequate manner to assist the lesser developed countries is not through health or education ‘hand-outs’. This method is flawed and only offers temporary relief from long-term challenges; also this assistance can be cut at any moment, leaving the country stranded. For example, economical help from the UK to disadvantaged regions in Africa has gradually been reduced since the onset of the financial crisis. Although some parts of the continent may be better educated or in better health, the benefit was short lived, thus leaving the countries of Africa to look for other donors. Commerce is without doubt the most essential type of assistance that can be given. If the lesser developed country has the opportunity to develop trade, then it will build strong capabilities to serve it for the long term. These strengths can develop the local economy and are more reliable than education or health. For example, while trading with the richer country the government can search for other foreign markets to trade with. This would offer more stability and diversification for the nation. To conclude, assistance is definitely necessary for the poorer regions; however, ‘hand-outs’ are short-term solutions. The optimum solution is to offer market access so the region can produce products and generate regular income.
Undoubtedly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
of developed nations should share the responsibility of

helping less fortunate nations.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Different
measures exist, ranging from market access to

direct financial payments or even medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
assistance
. This essay will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why certain

measures are
inherently
better than other methods.

Firstly
, the most adequate manner to assist the lesser developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
is not

through health or education ‘hand-outs’. This method
is flawed
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
offers

temporary relief from long-term challenges;
also
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
assistance
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
at any

moment, leaving the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
stranded.
For example
, economical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
from the UK to

disadvantaged regions in Africa has
gradually
been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
since the onset of the

financial crisis. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
parts of the continent may be better educated or in

better health, the benefit was short
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
,
thus
leaving the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
of Africa to look for other donors.

Commerce is without doubt the most essential type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
assistance
that can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
. If

the lesser developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
has the opportunity to develop trade, then it will build

strong capabilities to serve it for the long term. These strengths can develop the local

economy and are more reliable than education or health.
For example
, while trading

with the richer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can search for other foreign markets to trade

with. This would offer more stability and diversification for the nation.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
assistance
is definitely necessary for the poorer regions;
however
,

‘hand-outs’ are short-term solutions. The optimum solution is to offer market
Use a comma before ‘so’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
access
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so


the region can produce products and generate regular income.

IELTS essay Improvements in health, education and trade are essential for the development of poorer nations. However, the governments of richer nations should take more responsibility for helping the poorer nations in such areas.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
253 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • Improvements in health, education and trade are essential for the development of poorer nations. However, the governments of richer nations should take more responsibility for helping the poorer nations in such areas. To what extent do you agree?