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imprisonment and solutions for crimes

imprisonment and solutions for crimes lXK19
To modern citizens, criminals being sent to prison are no longer a strange punishment. From my perspective, although prison sentences prove their upsides, they still have downsides that could be considered. In this essay, I will discuss both advantages and disadvantages of this viewpoint as well as several ways to reduce the number of lawbreakers. On the one hand, it is clear that jail decisions for people who commit crimes have a total of benefits. First, they could play an essential role in deterring offenders from committing crime. As the civilizations are getting advanced, security in jails is also being upgraded consequently as prisoners are locked in firm buildings with guards for twenty-four hours that they have no chance to break the law. Second, convicts in the prisons are isolated from society since it is a part of their sentences. During the time offenders are put in jails, they follow the strict routine of the lockup place which is different from usual life, thereby a figure of offenders change and are released from the jail. On the other hand, it is undeniable that there are several drawbacks of this type of sentence. To begin with, this punishment creates a poverty circle that could affect the people related to the criminal. For instance, the man who committed crimes is the breadwinner of his family, and the wife as well as his children would not have abundant money to pay for their basic needs. Moreover, owing to the fact that offenders are put in prison, there could be health threats to lawbreakers and the community. To be particular, in case a prisoner had infectious diseases, since there is no contact with the medical profession developments outside the lockup place, not only would the man’s condition get worse, but also other criminals would be affected. In addition, I would like to suggest several solutions to reduce the number of people who commit offenses. Firstly, it is obvious that residents should be educated on laws. For example, a teenager who is legally educated would be aware of his behavior and studying as well as lending people around him a hand instead of robbing or causing accidents. Secondly, there should be improved education for poverty-stricken families consequently they would have better lives. In particular, poor people who are provided jobs would have payment to care for their home, thereby they wouldn’t commit crimes anymore. In conclusion, I confirm that society should balance between considering the upsides and downsides of criminals being sent to prison in order to make right judgements for lawbreakers.
To modern citizens,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
are no longer a strange punishment. From my perspective, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
sentences prove their upsides, they
still
have downsides that could
be considered
. In this essay, I will discuss both advantages and disadvantages of this viewpoint
as well
as several ways to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the number of lawbreakers.

On the one hand, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that jail decisions for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
commit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
have a total of benefits.
First
, they could play an essential role in deterring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offenders
from committing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
. As the civilizations are getting advanced, security in jails is
also
being upgraded
consequently
as prisoners
are locked
in firm buildings with guards for twenty-four hours that they have no chance to break the law. Second, convicts in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prisons
are isolated
from society since it is a part of their sentences. During the time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offenders
are put
in jails, they follow the strict routine of the lockup place which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from usual life, thereby a figure of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offenders
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
and
are released
from the jail.

On the other hand
, it is undeniable that there are several drawbacks of this type of sentence. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, this punishment creates a poverty circle that could affect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
related to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
.
For instance
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
committed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
is the breadwinner of his family, and the wife
as well
as his children would not have abundant money to pay for their basic needs.
Moreover
, owing to the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offenders
are put
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
, there could be health threats to lawbreakers and the community. To be particular, in case a prisoner had infectious diseases, since there is no contact with the medical profession developments outside the lockup place, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
would the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
’s condition
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
worse,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
would be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
.

In addition
, I would like to suggest several solutions to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
commit offenses.
Firstly
, it is obvious that residents should
be educated
on laws.
For example
, a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
is
legally
educated would be aware of his behavior and studying
as well
as lending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around him a hand
instead
of robbing or causing accidents.
Secondly
, there should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
education for poverty-stricken families
consequently
they would have better
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
In particular
, poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are provided
jobs would have payment to care for their home, thereby they wouldn’t commit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
anymore.

In conclusion
, I confirm that society should balance between considering the upsides and downsides of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
right judgements for lawbreakers.
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IELTS essay imprisonment and solutions for crimes

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
427 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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