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Important of Family and Friend in your life

Important of Family and Friend in your life mLBPN
It is hard to find the exact definition of happiness. Someone thinks contentment can come from money and possessions while other find it on their family and friend. In my point of view, family and friends bring more happiness than money and possessions. First of all, I assert that money makes life much easier because it reduces lots of stress and anxieties. Families who have enough money to spend on accommodation, clothing, food or the entertainments will be less worried than people always living under suppression of concern for the daily activities. Moreover, they can help their family and friend to improve quality of life; however, it couldn’t buy you a friend or family, nor could it pay you for the loss of either one. Additionally, when you’re facing with trouble, just friend and family who can motivate and encourage you to step forwards, that’s exactly thing you can’t do with money. For example, if you have plenty of Money and possessions. But someday when you got despression, you can’t buy a shoulder to cry on, or close friend stay beside you. After all, as Ralph Waldo Emerson once said: “When you were born you were crying and everyone else was smiling. Live your life so at the end ou're the one who is smiling and everyone else is crying”. In conclusion, family and friends bring you more happiness than money and possession.
It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to find the exact definition of happiness. Someone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
contentment can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
money


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
and
possessions while other find it on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
. In my point of view,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
friends


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
bring
more happiness than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and possessions.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, I assert that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
life much easier
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
lots of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and anxieties.

Families who have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to spend on accommodation, clothing, food or the entertainments will

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
be
less worried than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
always living under suppression of concern for the daily activities.

Moreover
, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
quality of life;
however
, it couldn’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
you a

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
friend
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, nor could it pay you for the loss of either one.

Additionally
, when you’re facing with trouble,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
who can motivate and encourage

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
you
to step forwards, that’s exactly thing you can’t do with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
For example
, if you have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of

Money and possessions.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
someday when you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
Possible spelling mistake found.
despression
, you can’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a shoulder to cry on,

or close
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
stay beside you.

After all
, as Ralph Waldo Emerson once said: “When you
were born
you were crying and everyone else

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
was
smiling.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Live
your life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
Possible spelling mistake found.
ou
're the one who is smiling and everyone else is crying”.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
bring you more happiness than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and possession.
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IELTS essay Important of Family and Friend in your life

Essay
  American English
14 paragraphs
233 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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