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Importance of the arts for the society.

Importance of the arts for the society. 70QmX
Now-a-days, schools are more focusing on practical sessions rather than bookish knowledge or on theocraticals. Practical grasps are building or pulling out an actual talent from pupils and let them concentrate or make perfect on what they want to be in the future. Arts is the field, in which you can show up your talent, prove that you are one of them who wants to achieve an extra ordinary something in their field. Consequently, others have seen them and showing interest and trying to do something in arts. For example, painting, drawing, dance, photography etc. if, we are not encouraging our children to carry out their desire and be what they want to be then there will be a lack touch in them to ought to be creative and they will end-up of doing boring job. They will be far behind the young and imaginative generation. Don’t push your kids to follow the specific education which can give them better and stable job in future. It will just kill their desire to do extra ordinary in the life. Some are interested into the sports, let them do various physical activity and draw it to the extend that after that they never see back. Furthermore, send pupils into arts or summer arts session to check if they are capable in the specific region. If not, try another one. Children will show number of talents and let choose of them. Motivate them so they be a part of society of creating a excellent into the life and can cheer up others.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
-a-days, schools are more focusing on practical sessions
rather
than bookish knowledge or on
Possible spelling mistake found.
theocraticals
. Practical grasps are building or pulling out an actual talent from pupils and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
them concentrate or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
perfect on what they want to be in the future.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Arts
is the field, in which you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
up your talent, prove that you are one of them who wants to achieve an
This word is normally spelled as one.
extra ordinary
something in their field.

Consequently
, others have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
them and showing interest and trying to do something in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
.
For example
, painting, drawing, dance, photography etc. if, we are not encouraging our children to carry out their desire and be what they want to be then there will be a lack touch in them to ought to be
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
creative and
they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
-up of doing boring job. They will be far behind the young and imaginative generation. Don’t push your kids to follow the specific education which can give them better and stable job
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
. It will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
kill their desire to do
This word is normally spelled as one.
extra ordinary
in the life.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
are interested
into the sports,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
them do various physical activity and draw it to the
Did you mean "extent" ('extent' is a noun, 'extend' is a verb)?
extend
that after that they never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
back.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
pupils into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
or summer
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "arts'" or "art's"?
arts
session to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
if they are capable in the specific region. If not, try another one. Children will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
number of talents and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
choose of them. Motivate them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they be a part of society of creating
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
excellent into the life and can cheer up others.
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IELTS essay Importance of the arts for the society.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
259 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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