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Impact of social networking sites on individuals and society

Impact of social networking sites on individuals and society 7rNPy
Social networking sites, for instance Facebook are thought by some to have had a detrimental effect on individual people, society and local communities. However, though I believe that such sites are mainly beneficial to the individual, I agree that they may have some damaging effects on local communities. With regards to individuals, the impact that online social media has had on each individual person has clear advantages. Firstly, people from different countries are brought together on a common platform. prior to this development of social networking sites & technological development, people rarely had the chance to mingle or meet or communicate with anyone outside their immediate circle of their communities. Secondly, Facebook also has social groups which offer people a chance to meet and participate in discussions of common interest. On the other had, the effect that Facebook & other social networking sites had on societies and local communities can only be seen as negative. Rather than individual people taking part in their local community, they are instead choosing to take more interest in online meetings. Consequently, the human touch is lost and people in local communities are no longer forming supportive relationships. Furthermore, society as a whole is becoming increasingly disjointed and fragmented as people spend more time online with folks that they have never met. To conclude, all though social networking sites have brought individuals closer together, they have not had the same effect on society or local communities. Local communities should do more to try and involve local people in local activities on order to promote the future of cohesion and community life.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Social
networking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
,
for instance
Facebook are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
to have had a detrimental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effect
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communities
.
However
, though I believe that such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
are
mainly
beneficial to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that they may have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
damaging effects on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
communities.

Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".
With regards to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
, the impact that online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media has had on each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
person has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
advantages.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries
are brought
together on a common platform.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
prior
to this development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
& technological development,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
rarely had the chance to mingle or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
or communicate with anyone outside their immediate circle of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communities
.
Secondly
, Facebook
also
has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
groups which offer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
a chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
and participate in discussions of common interest. On the other had, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effect
that Facebook & other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
had on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
societies
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communities
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
.
Rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
taking part in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
, they are
instead
choosing to take more interest in online meetings.
Consequently
, the human touch
is lost
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communities
are no longer forming supportive relationships.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
as a whole is becoming
increasingly
disjointed and fragmented as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spend more time online with folks that they have never met.
To conclude
,
Did you mean "although"?
all though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
have brought
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
closer together, they have not had the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effect
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communities
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communities
should do more to
"Try and" is common in colloquial speech, but "try to" is recommended for writing.
try and
involve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
activities on order to promote the future of cohesion and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
life.
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IELTS essay Impact of social networking sites on individuals and society

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
266 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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