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impact of individuals in our communities. how this person has affected others in your group. v.1

impact of individuals in our communities. how this person has affected others in your group. v. 1
Nowadays, There is a meteoric rise in the crime rate among younger age people. Parenting skills to be taught is a sole solution in order to solve this ordeal. I am in complete agreement with this statement because noble parenting and teaching them at a young age is the only way to counteract this trend. To begin with, it is believed that criminal thoughts will grow in young minds because they were not mature enough to fathom the difference between right and wrong. That is to say, if they have had right parenting that inspires them to grow in a noble way, they would not have grown the radical behaviour, which will lead to dis-obeying ethics. Consequently, this behaviour results in criminal thoughts among the young people to in order to meet their needs and wishes. Another reason for my opinion will be the learning age phenomenon, To add to that, teenage is the crucial age of any person to seek and inherently inculcate the values of life. That is to say, not until parents teach the right values to them to lead a righteous life, should they expect their children to be grown in that way. Apparently, explaining their children at a young age about crimes and teaching them the consequences one had to go through, if they involve in those, imparts a deep-seated aversion towards criminal behaviour. For instance, a report by The Guardian suggested that 40 percent of young offenders often tend towards criminal behaviour because of lack of right parenting. In conclusion, I am in complete accord with the idea that teaching parenting skills to the parents is the only way to curb the ever increasing crime rate among the young offenders.
Nowadays, There is a meteoric rise in the crime rate among younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parenting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
to
be taught
is a sole solution in order to solve this ordeal. I am in complete agreement with this statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
noble
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
and teaching them at a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way to counteract this trend.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, it
is believed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
thoughts will grow in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
minds
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they were not mature
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to fathom the difference between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
.
That is
to say, if they have had
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
that inspires them to grow
Consider replacing "in a noble way" with the adverb for "noble"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a noble way
, they would not have grown the radical
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
, which will lead to dis-obeying ethics.
Consequently
, this
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
results in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
thoughts among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
their needs and wishes.

Another reason for my opinion will be the learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
phenomenon, To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
to that, teenage is the crucial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of any person to seek and
inherently
inculcate the values of life.
That is
to say, not until parents teach the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
values to them to lead a righteous life, should they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
their children to
be grown
in that way.
Apparently
, explaining their children at a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
about crimes and teaching them the consequences one had to go through, if they involve in those, imparts a deep-seated aversion towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
.
For instance
, a report by The Guardian suggested that 40 percent of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
offenders
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
tend towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
parenting.

In conclusion
, I am in complete accord with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
to the parents is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way to curb the
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
ever increasing
crime rate among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
offenders.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
A special kind of beauty exists which is born in language, of language, and for language.
Gaston Bachelard

IELTS essay impact of individuals in our communities. how this person has affected others in your group. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
286 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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