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immigration and refugees are increasing

immigration and refugees are increasing 86X3r
The population growth has increased seriously in some developed countries due to the emigration of people from third countries. The movements of Refugee groups might have both positive and negative impacts on countries of destination. We can clearly see this tendency and I will outline the reasons and consequences in the paragraph below. To begin with, there are many reasons for the immigration. In my point of view, these people just want to reside in a peaceful country to start their career. As a result, they flee from their home where the war happens and the government deteriorates into chaos. Moreover, they seek new job’s opportunities in manual work which don’t require much skill with low wages. For instance, according to some surveys, the productivity in developed countries has strongly increased due to labour sources coming from third countries. Besides, a number of people arrive in these countries just to escape from crime and law, they want to find a new place to carry on commiting a crime. In brief, everyone has different reasons but all of that is just toward one thing: a better life. There is a statement that shows that immigration causes more harm than good. Personally, I think emigration is conducive to labour productivity but still has drawbacks. About the advantages, refugees will get an entry level job, this will save potential workers for harder jobs. On the flip side, this circumstance leads to overpopulation. Later, the government will lose the budget to sponsor food and medical care for refugees. Additionally, most of the refugees can’t find jobs because of the lack of language skills and difficulties in adaptation. In this case, society’s vices will rise sharply. To illustrate, Brazil has the highest proportion of crime rate and also has the highest number of immigrants. The best way to deal with it is to equalize the percentage of immigration. In short, there are many aspects that lead to immgration and this tendency has both sides. Moreover, I think that the government should tighten policies on immigration to reduce the number of refugees.
The population growth has increased
seriously
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
due to the emigration of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from third
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. The movements of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Refugee
groups might have both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
of destination. We can
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
this tendency and I will outline the reasons and consequences in the paragraph below.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons for the immigration. In my point of view, these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
want to reside in a peaceful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
their career.
As a result
, they flee from their home where the war happens and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
deteriorates into chaos.
Moreover
, they seek new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job’s
opportunities in manual work which don’t require much
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
with low wages.
For instance
, according to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
surveys, the productivity in developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
has
strongly
increased due to
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
sources coming from third
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
Besides
, a number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
arrive in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to escape from crime and law, they want to find a new place to carry on
Possible spelling mistake found.
commiting
a crime.
In brief
, everyone has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
reasons
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
all of
that is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
toward one thing: a better life.

There is a statement that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that immigration causes more harm than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
.
Personally
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
emigration is conducive to
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
productivity
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
still
has drawbacks. About the advantages,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
refugees
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
an entry level
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, this will save potential workers for harder
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
. On the flip side, this circumstance leads to overpopulation. Later, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
will lose the budget to sponsor food and medical care for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
refugees
.
Additionally
, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
refugees
can’t find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the lack of language
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and difficulties in adaptation.
In this case
, society’s vices will rise
sharply
. To illustrate, Brazil has the highest proportion of crime rate and
also
has the highest number of immigrants. The best way to deal with it is to equalize the percentage of immigration.

In short, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
aspects that lead to
Possible spelling mistake found.
immgration
and this tendency has both sides.
Moreover
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should tighten policies on immigration to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
refugees
.
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IELTS essay immigration and refugees are increasing

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
346 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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