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When attending university, where is the best place to live? With your parents, in a campus dormitory, or in an apartment in the community? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.2

When attending university, where is the best place to live? With your parents, in a campus dormitory, or in an apartment in the community? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 2
Where we live, while we attend the university, has a lot of impacts on our live. When you enter a university, it will be a new environment for you and you will need a lot of supports there. Some students prefer to live with their parents while attending their university. Others prefer to live in dorm or in an apartment near the university. In my view, I prefer to live in a compus dormitory for two important reasons. The main reason is that you will make a new friendship while you are living in a dormitory. When you go to the university, it will not be easy to start new friendship with others there. For instance, I remember when I first entered to my universty in Iraq, in Baghdad college, I didn’t know any body there. I lived in the campus dormitory, and in my room there were three other freshman students. It was a greet opportunity for me to stay and spent time with them. After few weeks, my new roommates become my best friends in the college. We spent time together during the free time between classes and two of them were attending the same classes that I took. As you could see, if I didn’t live in the dorm, I wouldn’t have that opportunity to meet a new friend and I would feel lonely when I go to my classes. Second, when you live in a dorm, you will have less responsibilities. If you live in out of campus apartment, you will need to do a lot of jobs rather than studying as, pay so many bills, buy groucery, cook your food, and clean you apartment. While, when you live in a dorm you won’t need to do all that. For example, I lived in the dorm for four years while I attended my college. I used to eat in the dormitory’s cafteria each day. I didn’t need to cook any thing and I never wash any dishes. Also, I needed to pay only one check per month that cover for rent and eating in my dorm. I was so happy with that because I had a plenty of time to study and never be worry about other responsibilities. From my personal experience I could say that living in a dorm has the least responsibilities between all other choices. In conclusion, I believe that each one has different vision to the better place to live in while attending the university; but I believe that the dormitory is the best one. Not only will you make more friend ship but also you will have less responsibilites. That’s why I encourage student to live in the dorm at least for part of their stay in the university.
Where we
live
, while we attend the
university
, has
a lot of
impacts on our
live
. When you enter a
university
, it will be a
new
environment for you and you will
need
a lot of
supports there.
Some
students prefer to
live
with their parents while attending their
university
. Others prefer to
live
in
dorm
or in an apartment near the
university
. In my view, I prefer to
live
in a
compus
dormitory
for two
important
reasons.

The main reason is that you will
make
a
new
friendship while you are living in a
dormitory
. When you go to the
university
, it will not be easy to
start
new
friendship with others there.
For instance
, I remember when I
first
entered to my
universty
in Iraq, in Baghdad college, I didn’t know
any body
there. I
lived
in the campus
dormitory
, and in my room there were three
other
freshman students. It was
a greet
opportunity for me to stay and spent
time
with them. After few weeks, my
new
roommates become my best friends in the college. We spent
time
together during the free
time
between classes and two of them were attending the same classes that I took. As you could
see
, if I didn’t
live
in the
dorm
, I wouldn’t have that opportunity to
meet
a
new
friend and I would feel lonely when I go to my classes.

Second, when you
live
in a
dorm
, you will have
less
responsibilities. If you
live
in out of campus apartment, you will
need
to do
a lot of
jobs
rather
than studying as, pay
so
many
bills,
buy
groucery
, cook your food, and clean you apartment. While, when you
live
in a
dorm
you won’t
need
to do all that.
For example
, I
lived
in the
dorm
for four years while I attended my college. I
used
to eat in the
dormitory’s
cafteria
each day. I didn’t
need
to cook
any thing
and I never wash any dishes.
Also
, I needed to pay
only
one
check
per month that cover for rent and eating in my
dorm
. I was
so
happy with that
because
I had a
plenty
of
time
to study and
never be worry
about
other
responsibilities. From my personal experience I could say that living in a
dorm
has the least responsibilities between all
other
choices.

In conclusion
, I believe that each one has
different
vision to the better place to
live
in while attending the
university
;
but
I believe that the
dormitory
is the best one. Not
only
will you
make
more friend ship
but
also
you will have less
responsibilites
. That’s why I encourage student to
live
in the
dorm
at least for part of their stay in the
university
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
47Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Mistakes
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IELTS essay When attending university, where is the best place to live? With your parents, in a campus dormitory, or in an apartment in the community? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
458 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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