Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Imagine that there is a large piece of vacant land in your town. What is the best way to make use of it? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.2

Imagine that there is a large piece of vacant land in your town. What is the best way to make use of it? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 2
Introduction In the modern era, rarely, there is a vacant area that can be used to build a facility profitable for the community. If there is such a place in my neighbourhood, I would like to build a sports centre equipped with swimming pool and jogging track. I believe it will be benefitted the people for several reason I would like to elaborate more in the next paragraph. First, there is a need of a place to exercise in the convoluted area. My hometown is crowded with skyscraper and town office, therefore, we have a lack of a facility that comfortable, safe, and affordable to work out. The meagre of the sports centre make the dweller of my hometown have aversion to work out hence the declining of quality of life. The lack of exercise is detrimental to the people. Second, the sports centre where equipped with swimming pool will benefit the senior citizen in my hometown. It is a fact that elderly need a low impact and a high-intensity workout. This will be provided by workout regimen in swimming pool since the water lessens the workload of the joints and the muscles. The insufficient quantity of empty land contributed to the sparse number of swimming pool because of they most likely unable to build the facility in their backyard. Lastly, the gym membership is expensive. The place that adequate to facilitated high-quality exercise is very costly. It is reserved for affluent people and the middle-class community would unlikely use it. Additionally, the gym usually located in a downtown area where there is no subway line or unreachable by other public transportation. I personally believe that a sports centre will benefit the community immeasurably. All the things considered, the sports centre would become a celebrated addition to my hometown
Introduction

In the modern era, rarely, there is a vacant area that can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to build a facility profitable for the community. If there is such a place in my
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbourhood' is British English.
neighbourhood
, I would like to build a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
equipped with swimming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pool
and jogging
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
. I believe it will be
Possible spelling mistake found.
benefitted
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
for
Possible agreement error. The noun reason seems to be countable; consider using: "several reasons".
several reason
I would like to elaborate more in the
next
paragraph.

First
, there is a need of a place to exercise in the convoluted area. My
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hometown
is crowded
with skyscraper and town office,
therefore
, we have a lack of a facility that comfortable, safe, and affordable to work out.
The phrase 'The meagre of' is not correct. Use a noun, not an adjective, between 'The' and 'of'.
The meagre of
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the dweller of my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hometown
have aversion to work out
hence
the declining of quality of life. The lack of exercise is detrimental to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Second, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
where equipped with swimming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pool
will benefit the senior citizen in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hometown
. It is a fact that elderly need a low impact and a high-intensity workout. This will
be provided
by workout regimen in swimming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pool
since the water lessens the workload of the joints and the muscles. The insufficient quantity of empty land contributed to the sparse number of swimming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pool
Probable usage error. Use "because they" instead.
because of they
most likely unable to build the facility in their backyard.

Lastly
, the gym membership is expensive. The place that adequate to facilitated high-quality exercise is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
costly. It
is reserved
for affluent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and the middle-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
community would unlikely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it.
Additionally
, the gym
usually
located in a downtown area where there is no subway line or unreachable by other public transportation.

I
personally
believe that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
will benefit the community
immeasurably
. All the things considered, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
would become a celebrated addition to my
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
hometown
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Mistakes

IELTS essay Imagine that there is a large piece of vacant land in your town. What is the best way to make use of it? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 2

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
298 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts