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I’m going to describe my sister’s wedding day, which took place a few years ago in the town where I grew up. For my sister it was the biggest and most important day of her life.

I’m going to describe my sister’s wedding day, which took place a few years ago in the town where I grew up. For my sister it was the biggest and most important day of her life. bOYJ3
I’m going to describe my sister’s wedding day, which took place a few years ago in the town where I grew up. For my sister it was the biggest and most important day of her life. I think there were around 100 people at the marriage ceremony, which was held in a church. Even more people came to the party, or the wedding reception as we call it, after the ceremony. Of course, most members of my family were there, as well as the groom’s family and a collection of the bride and groom’s friends and colleagues. To make the celebration special, we did what families normally do. My mother made sure that the church and the reception venue were nicely decorated - there were flowers everywhere! Obviously we all dressed for the occasion, and there were bridesmaids, gifts, a huge wedding cake, and so on. I enjoyed the occasion because it was great to see my sister so happy on her big day. The ceremony was perfect, and we all had a fantastic time at the reception. It’s rare for me to see all of my family and friends together in one place, so that’s probably what made the day so memorable for me.
I’m going to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describe
my sister’s wedding day, which took place a few years ago in the town where I grew up. For my sister it was the biggest and most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
day of her life.

I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
there were around 100
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
at the marriage ceremony, which
was held
in a church. Even more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
came to the party, or the wedding reception as we call it, after the ceremony.
Of course
, most members of my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
were there,
as well
as the groom’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and a collection of the bride and groom’s friends and colleagues.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the celebration special, we did what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
normally
do. My mother made sure that the church and the reception venue were
nicely
decorated
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
there were flowers everywhere!
Obviously
we all dressed for the occasion, and there were bridesmaids, gifts, a huge wedding cake, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.

I enjoyed the occasion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it was great to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
my sister
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
happy on her
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
day. The ceremony was perfect, and we all had a fantastic time at the reception. It’s rare for me to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
all of my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and friends together in one place,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that’s
probably
what made the day
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
memorable for me.
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IELTS essay I’m going to describe my sister’s wedding day, which took place a few years ago in the town where I grew up. For my sister it was the biggest and most important day of her life.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
205 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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  • Meet the criteria
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