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If you suddenly received a large sum of money, what would you do with it?

If you suddenly received a large sum of money, what would you do with it? BMNMw
In this computational world money has become the essential part of human life. Everyone around the globe is running after it. Therefore, the availability of the money makes difference to the individuals life. A person has its own income and flow of money in day to day life. Now, the questions and lot of uncertainty arrives when this flow changes. If the flow slows down then tension starts about getting it more. Whereas, if flow gets double then tension also starts about how to spend it. Hence, it is a tricky question for me that if I suddenly received a huge amount of finance, what would I do with it? My several plans to use the money is justified in ensuring paragraphs. First and foremost thing that I would like to do with money is to invest in the market. This is to say that, today's investment is tomorrow's income. Therefore, in the future I will get the income from this investment. For that, I invest money in stock market, mutual funds etc. However, I am totally aware about the ups and downs of the market so I can bare some loss. Secondly, building dream house with the jackpot. Since the childhood, I always dreamed of living in luxurious house which has all amazing facilities and hospitality. The feature of my dream house could be, swimming pool, large garden, small pond etc. Moreover, I would like to spend 20% of my money on this house. Additionally, I am the person who also believes in charity and donations. I have done lot of charity and donation with the income I am currently receiving. It feels great inside after being humble and caretaker for others and lending the helping hands for the needed ones. Therefore, I would like to donate my 20% of the income to charity to various NGOs around the world as they help poor children for their education and fulfilling foods and other basic needs of poor people. In conclusion, such huge amount of money will make me unstable at first, but after lot of thinking I will invest some part of it and some part will be reserved for the donations and charity.
In this computational world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
has become the essential part of human life. Everyone around the globe is running after it.
Therefore
, the availability of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
difference to the
Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean "individuals'" or "individual's"?
individuals
life. A person has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
flow
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in day to day life.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
, the questions and lot of uncertainty arrives when this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
flow
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
flow
slows down then tension
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
about getting it more. Whereas, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
flow
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
double then tension
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
about how to spend it.
Hence
, it is a tricky question for me that if I
suddenly
received a huge amount of finance, what would I do with it? My several plans to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is justified
in ensuring paragraphs.

First
and foremost thing that I would like to do with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is to invest in the market. This is to say that,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's investment is tomorrow's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
.
Therefore
, in the future I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
from this investment. For that, I invest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in stock market, mutual funds etc.
However
, I am
totally
aware about the ups and downs of the market
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I can
This form is ambiguous and can be used as past tense. Confirm that you are using the intended base form of the main verb after 'to do' as an auxiliary verb..
bare
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
loss.

Secondly
, building dream
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
with the jackpot. Since the childhood, I always dreamed of living in luxurious
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
which has all amazing facilities and hospitality. The feature of my dream
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
could be, swimming pool, large garden,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
pond etc.
Moreover
, I would like to spend 20% of my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
.

Additionally
, I am the person who
also
believes in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charity
and donations. I have done
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charity
and donation with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
I am
currently
receiving. It feels great inside after being humble and caretaker for others and lending the helping hands for the needed ones.
Therefore
, I would like to donate my 20% of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charity
to various NGOs around the world as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
poor children for their education and fulfilling foods and other basic needs of poor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

In conclusion
, such huge amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
me unstable at
first
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
after
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
thinking I will invest
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
part of it and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
part will
be reserved
for the donations and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charity
.
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IELTS essay If you suddenly received a large sum of money, what would you do with it?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
365 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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