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arts and spending money-task2

arts and spending money-task2 GwqrB
In our society, people consider that the government spent lots of money for art and according to them, there are more useful things than arts. In my opinion, I do not agree with that. I believe, the art is the key of our lives to improve ourselves, our personalities, etc. Firs of all, the art is a symbol which is connected our culture. There are lots of different types products about it from the beginning of human life. People always try to explain somethings especially through the art such as drawing pictures on the walls, making sculptures, weaving carpets. Thus, we have various information connecting past life. For instance, a rug always tells a story us. It contains different kind of emotions such as love, dead, happiness. Secondly, thanks to art, people have open mind vision and can create a new world. It is an obvious fact that arts also effect the other parts of life (technology, science, education, nature, etc. ). For example, when we want to design a new consumer good which needs innovation experiments, we have to use an article perspective. In addition, it has been observed that there is an increase in the following values in education thanks to art; creative and critical thinking, problem solving, reasoning. In conclusion, art is a so special topic for human being in every part of life as explained in the previous paragraphs. It is an undeniable fact. Therefore, we can reach that the money is not wasting on the arts and I believe that, the government could divide expenditures equally to all important sectors
In our society,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
consider that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
spent lots of money for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
and according to them, there are more useful things than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
. In my opinion, I do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with that. I believe, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is the key of our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
ourselves, our personalities, etc.

Firs of all, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is a symbol which
is connected
our culture. There are lots of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types products about it from the beginning of human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
always try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
somethings
especially
through the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
such as drawing pictures on the walls, making sculptures, weaving carpets.
Thus
, we have various information connecting past
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
For instance
, a rug always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tells
a story us. It contains
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
kind of emotions such as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
, dead, happiness.

Secondly
, thanks to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have open mind vision and can create a new world. It is an obvious fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
also
effect the other parts of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
(technology, science, education, nature, etc.
Don't put a space before the closing parenthesis
)
.
For example
, when we want to design a new consumer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
which needs innovation experiments, we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
an article perspective.
In addition
, it has
been observed
that there is an increase in the following values in education thanks to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
; creative and critical thinking, problem solving, reasoning.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
special topic for human being in every part of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
in the previous paragraphs. It is an undeniable fact.
Therefore
, we can reach that the money is not wasting on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
and I believe that, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
could divide expenditures
equally
to all
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
sectors
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IELTS essay arts and spending money-task2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
264 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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