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If you had a million dollars. Would you like to do?

If you had a million dollars. Would you like to do? QlrQ9
Almost people around the whole world want to be a billionaire and so I am. I can not imagine how my life change if I have a million dollars. According to swap rate, a million dollars are equivalent tweenty three VND. It is the huge sums of money in Vietnam. If I have a million dollars, I will do everything that I like from before to time. It will be fun and I will be so powerful. The first thing that I will do if I have a million dollars is buy a house in Da Lat. Da Lat is my infatuated place that I always want to live in. This place has almost things which I wish in life. The weather is extremely pleasurable; the food is delightsome; spectacular is stunning and peaceful…and so many different things make me fall in love with there. With a million dollars, it is easy for me to get a tolerable house with a pretty small yard. To get dream house, it include part of money to buy land and another part pay for building. It will cost about 4 or 5 billions VND to do. Next thing that I would like to do is do charity. When I was young, I am helped by many persons so when I become an adult, I want to repay for every good thing in this life. I going to spend eight billions Vietnam Dong to do it. I will go to remote areas such as Cao Bang, Lang Son, Dak Lak… and so on. There are some place still undevelop yet, children ought to wake up early in the morning and climb countless mountain to go to school. I hope that I share a little lassitude with them. The third thing I will do is invesment. When I was grade 12, I wanted to be come a successful makeup artist. I would like to spend half of this money to learn and open a string of shop to buy cosmetics and make up. I wish I can control my life, have steady finance, take care for my family so I must have a stability job. I think that I spend five billions VND to invest for myself is certain right decision. My mother often say: ‘If you do not have boyfriend, it is okay. But if you do not have saving money, it is a big issue. ’ So I would like to put residual five billion VND to two bank. You know how everything work in the past and in the present but you can not know how is tomorrow. Today, I am very nice, I am strong but what if I will get sick tomorrow? What a pity. We have to think about the rainy day because this day never come slowly, it will make you wet by a massive storm. So having a saving money is uttermost important. This is how I use a million dollar if I have it. I will do everything that I like, take care for my career, save a little money, build a house to have a place to comeback after long tired day, do charity. How about you? Do you have the same ideas with me? To sum up, you can based on a million dollars to live the whole life but you can based on yourself. To be smart to use reasonable this huge money.
Almost
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
around the whole world want to be a
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
billionaire and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I am. I can not imagine how my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
if I have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollars
. According to swap rate, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollars
are equivalent
Possible spelling mistake found.
tweenty
three VND. It is the huge sums of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in Vietnam. If I have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollars
, I will do everything that I like from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
to time. It will be fun and I will be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
powerful.

The
first
thing that I will do if I have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollars
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Da
Lat.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Da
Lat is my infatuated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
that I always want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
has almost things which I wish in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. The weather is
extremely
pleasurable; the food is
Possible spelling mistake found.
delightsome
; spectacular is stunning and peaceful…and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
things
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
me fall in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
with there. With a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollars
, it is easy for me to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a tolerable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
with a pretty
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
yard. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
dream
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
, it
Did you mean "includes"?
include
part of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
land and another part pay for building. It will cost about 4 or 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billions
VND to do.

Next
thing that I would like to do is do charity. When I was young, I am
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
persons
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
when I become an adult, I want to repay for every
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
thing in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Did you mean "I'm going", "I am going", or "I was going"?
I going
to spend eight
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billions
Vietnam Dong to do it. I will go to remote areas such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
Cao
Bang, Lang Son,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Dak
Possible spelling mistake found.
Lak
… and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Did you mean "places"?
place
still
Possible spelling mistake found.
undevelop
yet
, children ought to wake up early in the morning and climb countless mountain to go to school. I hope that I share a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
lassitude with them.

The third thing I will do is
Possible spelling mistake found.
invesment
. When I was grade 12, I wanted to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
a successful makeup artist. I would like to spend half of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to learn and open a string of shop to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
cosmetics and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
up. I wish I can control my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, have steady finance, take care for my family
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
have a stability job.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that I spend five
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billions
VND to invest for myself is certain right decision.

My mother
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
say: ‘If you do not have boyfriend, it is okay.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
if you do not have saving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
issue. ’
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
I would like to put residual five
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
VND to two
Possible agreement error. The noun 'bank' seems to be countable, so consider using: "banks".
bank
. You know how everything work in the past and in the present
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
you can not know how is tomorrow.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
, I am
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
nice, I am strong
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
what if I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
sick tomorrow? What a pity. We
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about the rainy day
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this day never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
slowly
, it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
you wet by a massive storm.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
having a saving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is uttermost
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.

This is how I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollar
if I have it. I will do everything that I like, take care for my career, save a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, build a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
to have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
Did you mean "to come back"?
to comeback
after long tired day, do charity. How about you? Do you have the same
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
with me? To sum up, you can
The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: "base"
based
on a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollars
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
the whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
you can
The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: "base"
based
on yourself. To be smart to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
reasonable this huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
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You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.
Geoffrey Willans

IELTS essay If you had a million dollars. Would you like to do?

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
570 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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