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If you could change one historical event that occurred in your country in the 20th century, what would you change and why? Please note that this does need to be a real, historical event that occurred between the years 1900-1999.

If you could change one historical event that occurred in your country in the 20th century, what would you change and why? Please note that this does need to be a real, historical event that occurred between the years 1900-1999. E973r
Although steel tycoon Carnegie was pro-union, he and right hand man Frick wanted to break the Amalgamated Association of Iron and Steel Workers to drive down steel prices. Carnegie’s money beat the union on legal and popular fronts. I would reverse Homestead to labor’s win. If Homestead stayed peaceful despite Carnegie’s Pinkertons and state militia, then the nonviolent nature of the strike juxtaposed with violent oppression would have solicited strong public support. A labor “win” would shift power from employers to employees. Though a Homestead labor win wouldn’t immediately reverse hostile lobbyists, Congressmen, or courts, public pressure would more favor labor laws like the NLRA, LMRDA, WARN Act, and other regulatory frameworks in the 20th century. Rather than going in blind against big tech trusts like Facebook and Google, a Homestead win would have set legal precedents we could follow in these uniquely trying times. Nowadays, we see that COVID resignations have given workers more leverage to bargain for better conditions and pay. Only 2021’s tight labor market created favorable conditions for organizing firsts like the Buffalo success for the Starbucks Worker Union. Our unemployment crisis has shown firsthand the unprecedented effects fed-up laborers can have on the economy. In changing Homestead’s aftermath to labor’s win, more stringent regulations protecting the right to unionize would pass and reduce predatory backdoor union-busting tactics like sweet-talk, implied scares, explicit threats, vote inflation, and the like. The lives of vulnerable workers would be less miserable when given the chance for more training and the hope for better compensation. When more staff can support each other shift to shift, those living paycheck to paycheck won’t be squeezed of every drop of their time.
Although steel tycoon Carnegie was pro-union, he and
Did you mean the adjective "right-hand"?
right hand
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
Possible spelling mistake found.
Frick
wanted to break the Amalgamated Association of Iron and Steel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Workers
to drive down steel prices. Carnegie’s money beat the union on legal and popular fronts.

I would reverse Homestead to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
labor’s
win.

If Homestead stayed peaceful despite Carnegie’s
Possible spelling mistake found.
Pinkertons
and state militia, then the nonviolent nature of the strike juxtaposed with violent oppression would have solicited strong public support. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
labor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
“win”
would shift power from employers to employees.

Though a Homestead
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
labor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
win
wouldn’t immediately reverse hostile lobbyists, Congressmen, or courts, public pressure would more favor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
labor
laws like the
Possible spelling mistake found.
NLRA
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
LMRDA
, WARN Act, and other regulatory frameworks in the 20th century.
Rather
than going in blind against
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
tech trusts like Facebook and Google, a Homestead
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
win
would have set legal precedents we could follow in these
uniquely
trying times.

Nowadays, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that
Did you mean "COVID-19" or the alternative spelling "Covid-19" (= coronavirus)?
COVID
resignations have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
more leverage to bargain for better conditions and pay.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
2021’s tight
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
labor
market created favorable conditions for organizing firsts like the Buffalo success for the Starbucks
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Worker
Union. Our unemployment crisis has shown firsthand the unprecedented effects fed-up laborers can have on the economy. In changing Homestead’s aftermath to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
labor’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
win
, more stringent regulations protecting the right to unionize would pass and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
predatory backdoor union-busting tactics like sweet-talk, implied scares, explicit threats, vote inflation, and the like.

The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of vulnerable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
would be less miserable when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
the chance for more training and the hope for better compensation. When more staff can support each other shift to shift, those living paycheck to paycheck won’t
be squeezed
of every drop of their time.
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IELTS essay If you could change one historical event that occurred in your country in the 20th century, what would you change and why? Please note that this does need to be a real, historical event that occurred between the years 1900-1999.

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
279 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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