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if trying to win is important

if trying to win is important 6abBB
Well, not only me but also everyone who plays sports always wants them to win. What is more, I think that trying to win is very important when we are playing a sport. When we set the goal of winning, we will concentrate on performing the sport perfectly, and that is the key to winning. This means that when you focus on doing the goal that you have set, not only in sport but also in every field, you may have opportunities to succeed which develop our ability. Moreover, when we try to win, we have many tactics and we do those with our teams which develop teamwork.
Well, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
me
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
everyone who plays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
always wants them to win.
What is more
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that trying to win is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
when we are playing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
. When we set the goal of winning, we will concentrate on performing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
perfectly
, and
that is
the key to winning. This means that when you focus on doing the goal that you have set, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
in every field, you may have opportunities to succeed which develop our ability.
Moreover
, when we try to win, we have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
tactics and
we do those with our teams which develop teamwork.
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IELTS essay if trying to win is important

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
108 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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