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If our desires are to things of this world, they are never be satisfied. If our great view is upon those of the next, the expectation of them is an infinitely higher than the enjoyment of those of present.

If our desires are to things of this world, they are never be satisfied. If our great view is upon those of the next, the expectation of them is an infinitely higher than the enjoyment of those of present. yG2JD
Life is sum of time lapse. The present is a present, which is one of sum of time lapse. Enjoyment things of present is a base for us to come next milestone. I love that beautiful thought. In contrast, there are many people living life without that thought but desires to things of the world. What are desires and how they affect to our life? It’s really complex to discern out wish in feeling, I think just we know who we are and what we really want to. So are desires. Desires is shown out by what we wants and our ambition. We wants money and have strong wish to gain more money, we work hard doing anything just only for money, then we truly get more money. That money is desire and progress of making money is what desire operates us. Nevertheless, there is a thing: desire can alone operate us with our abatement to it. If desires operate us, we can get our desires; one times we keep on working just for desires, one times we are our desires’ servers. This is continuing till our life end, so who we are and what we truly gain in the life? The feeling of getting what we wants makes us keep on working for it. The more we work, the stronger our desires is. The orbit of wants and works for wants causes the ambition. Set goals higher and higher and satisfaction from desires to things of the world makes material happiness are never be on true and spiritual happiness and never be satisfied. A true happiness always come from spiritual enjoyment. Why? Happiness comes when you recognize what “enough” is. I usually heard that we can’t know what “enough” is, I don’t think so. An intellect and peaceful soul knows it. That soul stops at right place, enjoy and “be” smile. If what that soul gets is but “enough”, and therefore becomes a “desire”. Who has that soul enjoys things of the present to be on true happiness. Suddenly, I think of two instances. We’re born with no thing, then grow up with more and more things to be sadder and more worried. Now, at this age, what are we having? Beautiful house with cool car, extremely new and expensive clothes or big career? They are reflecting our desires. Have we ever cared to our family’s member, looked back to our experiences, or minded of how strong and wonderful our souls are? Have they made you happier? The world are developing everyday. It’s more prosperous and improved. Back to BCE, if prehistorics have strong desires to gain more and more things of the world which is like thriving things nowadays, then how would they be happy to live on? Life is on so long of mysterious tomorrows. I don’t know what to come, now. I haven’t think of a kind of given thought before, this is the first time I’ve tried to clear mind and be refreshed to sit down writing about it. Hope that I’d be more mature.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Life
is sum of
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
time lapse
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
present
is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
present
, which is one of sum of
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
time lapse
. Enjoyment things of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
present
is a base for us to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
next
milestone. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
.
In contrast
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
without that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
desires
to things of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
. What are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
desires
and how they affect to our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
? It’s
really
complex to discern out wish in feeling, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
who we are and what we
really
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
desires
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Desires
is shown
out by what we
The pronoun 'we' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "want"
wants
and our ambition. We
Possible agreement error -- use base form here: "want".
wants
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and have strong wish to gain more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, we work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
doing anything
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, then we
truly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. That
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
desire
and progress of making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
desire
operates us.
Nevertheless
, there is a thing:
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
desire
can alone operate us with our abatement to it. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
desires
operate us, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
desires
; one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
on working
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
desires
, one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
we are our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
desires’
servers. This is continuing till our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
who we are and what we
truly
gain in the life?

The feeling of getting what we
The pronoun 'we' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "want"
wants
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
us
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
on working for it. The more we work, the stronger our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
desires
is.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
orbit of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wants
and works for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wants
causes the ambition. Set goals higher and higher and satisfaction from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
desires
to things of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
material happiness are never
Consider using a past participle here: "been".
be
on true and spiritual happiness and never
be satisfied
.

A true happiness always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from spiritual enjoyment. Why?

Happiness
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
when you recognize what “
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
” is. I
usually
heard that we can’t
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
what “
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
” is, I don’t
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
. An intellect and peaceful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
soul
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knows
it. That
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
soul
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stops
at right place, enjoy and “be” smile. If what that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
soul
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
“
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
”, and
therefore
becomes a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
“desire”
.
“Who” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Who
has that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
soul
enjoys things of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
present
to be on true happiness.

Suddenly
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
of two instances.

We’re born with
Did you mean "nothing"?
no thing
, then grow up with more and more things to be sadder and more worried.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
, at this age, what are we having?
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Beautiful
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
with cool car,
extremely
new and expensive clothes or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
career? They are reflecting our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
desires
. Have we ever cared to our family’s member, looked back to our experiences, or minded of how strong and wonderful our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
souls
are? Have they made you happier?

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
are developing
'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean "every day"?
everyday
. It’s more prosperous and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
. Back to BCE, if
Possible spelling mistake found.
prehistorics have
strong
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
desires
to gain more and more things of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
which is like thriving things nowadays, then how would they be happy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
on?

Life is on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
long of mysterious tomorrows. I don’t
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
what to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
. I haven’t
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
of a kind of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
, this is the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
I’ve tried to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
mind and
be refreshed
to sit down writing about it. Hope that I’d be more mature.
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IELTS essay If our desires are to things of this world, they are never be satisfied. If our great view is upon those of the next, the expectation of them is an infinitely higher than the enjoyment of those of present.

Essay
  American English
8 paragraphs
510 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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