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If I had €1 million, it would be easy to find two good ways to help people.

If I had €1 million, it would be easy to find two good ways to help people. 5AyGQ
First of all, I would donate half of the money to the children's hospital in my town. They are raising money to build bedrooms for visiting families. They could probably start building immediately if I gave them half a million euros. Secondly, I would build a new primary school. If I would build primary school, the school will have a great opportunities for childrens to learn and grow. So to sum up, I would use the money to make life better for the families of children in hospital to improve facilities and improve children's knowledge at my new primary school.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, I would donate half of the money to the children's hospital in my town. They are raising money to build bedrooms for visiting families. They could
probably
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
building immediately if I gave them half a million euros.
Secondly
, I would build a new primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. If I
Consider removing 'would'. (Usually, 'would' does not occur in a conditional clause, unless to make a request or give a polite order.)
would build
primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
will have a great
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "opportunity"?
opportunities
for
Possible spelling mistake found.
childrens
to learn and grow.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
to sum up, I would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the money to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
life better for the families of children in hospital to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
facilities and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
children's knowledge at my new primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.

IELTS essay If I had €1 million, it would be easy to find two good ways to help people.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
100 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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